Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities they will feel. It is a safe space to find their confidence to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth, and they will connect with the sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Uma'ima Anizi. From accountancy to arbitration, Omaima has become an international consultant in arbitration. Originally from SUS in Tunisia, Omaima received her degree from Cambridge College of Business and more than 15 certifications from IBM. She loves to read and to write books. Omaima, how are you today? Hello, Aziz. I'm fine. How are you? I feel blessed. very very positive and curious about you as a person and as a woman. So I'll begin with this nice first question which is, "Omaema, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you?" Actually, my friends tell me that I'm very ambitious. I like to share things, my knowledge with them. So yes, they know me, they know how. I love the small little things, I love the simple things. They know my classy style. So yes, first of all, they can describe me as the most ambitious friend they have known. I love that. There is so much we can discuss, but I want to begin with your classy style. What does that mean for you and why do you like it? What emotions does it give you? How do you experience it? Tell us more. Actually, when I used to be like a more younger girl, I like to wear classy things, because they give me that really good attitude, like a calm attitude. I see things differently in that style. I see life more better, more comfortable. I see that many things could be sold with like a nice looking, I don't know, a skirt or nice looking nightwear or something like that. So yes, I grew up like wearing, I didn't change my style. I didn't change also my vision, my perspective in life. I'm always like looking on the bright side in like otherwise, of course, life could be sometimes black, sometimes white, but if we could mix it together, it would be great. My classy style and my classy vision, like helped me a lot, helped me a lot to become this woman, to become this ambitious and to like working on myself to be more and more like successful. I like that, I appreciate it very much and like you said the way that you dress changes how you see the world and how you appreciate life. Does it mean that you're very sensitive, that you feel emotions very strong, that we can say you're very emotional, I don't mean like a drama queen, is this correct about you? Yes, exactly. Actually, I hate drama, but like I can feel everything, like I can feel the small details, I can feel when someone passes like a stranger who passes next to me, I can feel his pain. I can feel how people want to achieve things, then I feel like I need to have the power to help them to achieve their goals, to achieve their dreams, etc. That's why in my position as an international trainer, I meet a lot of people. Some of them become like my closest friends, the one who I have, give them and share with them my knowledge. Because I feel like if you can feel everything in life, it's a superpower. It's not like a weakness. It's like a given power to feel like when you look to the sky and you see like birds, you see the sun, you feel it, it's like a different feeling. Give me like many, many good things when I share it with people. There are some small things in life, you need to enjoy it. You don't need like to have that much of money or to, I don't know, try to work just to buy that bag or buy that shoes. No, we can like look at the sky when it's a bad day and if you feel it, you close your eyes, you sense that small wind on your cheeks, it will change your mood forever. That's why it's really, really good feeling, to be sensitive. It's a power to be sensitive, not a weakness. I love that. That was so poetically said. And even more for you because you're such an empath and you feel everything and appreciate the little things in life and you feel people. Sometimes, and you said it's a superpower, you maybe like give all your energy and you feel exhausted or you take too much of the pain and negativity from people to help them feel better. How do you protect yourself or at least what do you do to recharge yourself so that you are fresh again for even more adventures and ambition in life? Actually, when I feel down, I sit in my room, I try to meditate a lot, speak with God, read books, try to give that moment of the soul connection. You need sometimes to sit alone with yourself and speak with yourself just to know where are you right now in that point of life. The energy that you give to people, deserve it or not, what you can give more. If I can't share with people or if I can give good energy to people, I feel really down. I don't know if I can make someone happy or I didn't help someone to achieve his goals or his dreams, I feel really down. That's why I really enjoy quite sitting in my room alone, speaking with myself, recharge my soul with little things, meditations, praying, etc. I write a lot. That's why I have a book called "Allive or Just Breathing". It's that introduction that I wrote and I remember 10 years ago I shared it with an Instagram page for poetry and writer and the comments all about like "yes I'm feeling the same thing, Yes, this feeling I am feeling right now, etc. So from that point, I felt like if people could put themselves in the shoes of others, maybe the world would be a better place. And thus the power of empathy. You know, you need sometimes to put your shoes aside and where someone else choose. To feel like life from other perspective. to feel the pain of others, to feel the happiness of others, like to be grateful for the little things that you have. And this is how I do. Thank you for that. And I noticed that for you resonating with other people, feeling that you are understood and having others feel that you understand them connecting is very important for you. Is this correct? Yes, exactly. It's really important to know because maybe I'm living a life is more different from other people but if we could imagine ourselves together we could like imagine that we're living the same pain the same happiness but it's not in the same time we live like if we have a bad day maybe there There is a million people in other countries having a bad day. At least maybe it could be just imagine it, not feeling the same way. Okay, I understand each one of us live his pain in his own way. And that's what makes us different. We need to accept the difference of others. And that's the most powerful thing also that we can do. Thank you. And I'm curious, how is this related to your ambition? Does this drive it? What does ambition mean for you and how does it relate to all these emotions? Actually, I learned all of those things like empathy, for example. I used to be empathetic, But when I become a design thinking coach, it makes me feel it more and more like, more and more to understand the action of empathy because design thinking technique is a technique that based on human-centered design that before creating new solution, new product, we need to put the human in the center of our designing process. And the first process was empathy. To create a good product, to create a good solution, you need to put yourself in place of others. To create that product or to create that program or to create new innovations, systems etc you need to put yourself in the shoes of the customer. Something else because I started to train people at a very young age. I used to study and I work at the same time. So my first work was an international trainer with French training center and each time I met a new person like and the gap of age is between like young people old people and the communication with them give me a lot of experience I shared a lot of experience with a different generation gap so if we take the old generation, they give me the perspective of the future, or sorry, of the future of how can I work better in my life because they give me some of their perspective, their visions, etc. And with the young generation gap, they give me the vision of the future Also, they give me what they think about the works. This is like the two things that keep me working on myself, meeting a lot of people, communicating with them, see their perspectives, their vision of life, etc. This is the most important thing also. Communication is the key of everything. I agree and thank you so much for sharing that. And even more on a personal level, because you are someone full of gratitude, you write your thoughts. Did you have before situations where you struggled with your mental health, you felt anxiety and then maybe writing or learning to be grateful and appreciate every moment helped you? What was your journey and what's your advice to some girls or women who might be struggling with their mental health and they're looking for a way to try to do something that helps them feel like you do? Yes, actually I have two most important events that happen that makes me more stronger. First of all, I lost my grandmother and she was the one who raised me. So it was like a painful loss for me because I used to, I learned a lot of things from my grandmother until now her advices, her visions, the way how she was kind with people, the way how she handled life etc. That it's really really painful for me to lose her. I always think of her each time that I succeed on something, each time that I'm like finding, I don't know how to explain it, but each time I'm in difficult situation sometimes like i wonder if she was alive how she will resolve the situation etc i learned a lot of things from her especially i learned how to be strong how to be strong and how to keep always smiling no matter how life no matter how hard it will be no matter people how will be like cruel with you no matter how or you will not find someone to help you etc you You need to be strong, you need to remain calm, you need to smile, and of course, you need to have a good faith in God. That will help you, that will give you the right direction, the right faith, et cetera. The second one was like our situation, how it changed from being like we have everything, we live like a comfortable life, et cetera, then we lost it all in a few seconds. That's why the most important thing for me is my family. How we stay together, how we pass all the struggles together, how we maintain our balance because we was living in a good situation, a good material situation, then we lost it all, we start to building ourselves from zero. Right now, we didn't maintain our balance in life like we used to be, but maybe I would say that I'm grateful that we are together until now because it wasn't easy for me to or for my family to leave the difficult situation. And that situation, I learned that I need to work on myself. I need to achieve everything I want in life without accepting anything from anyone. And that's what makes me the woman I am today. I worked two jobs to pay my studies. It was not an easy thing to do because, you know, So I need to wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning just to work. And at 8 o'clock, I need to be at school to study. And I'm grateful. I'm grateful, really grateful. And if you want anything in your life, you could achieve it. No matter what is the situation you are in, no matter how you're feeling, no matter how people will let you down, you need to like, sacrifice a lot of things in life. Because after all, those things that you have sacrificed, they will be back to you, maybe better things will come to you. And yes, this is the message that I want to share with people. Life is not about only having fun, going out, etc. No, it's like life is about building yourself. Life is about building a better version of yourself, working also to be a better version of yourself and help people, maybe because they have struggled the same thing that you have. Maybe also if we help each other, if we share information with each other, if you, I don't know, even small little things that you can do, you will find it in your way, in a better and good situation that you handle, it will be back to you. So yes, life is not bad, it's the opposite. Life is a good thing to live in if you know how to live it. Thank you, that was so inspirational and I want more. You said, if you know how to live it, there are many people in this world that if their life is hard and like you said, they lose a situation that was better and I'm sorry for your family and I wish them all the strength. How did you stay feeling that you want to improve yourself and get better rather than become jaded and say, "Why, why me?" and all that stuff that gets you into a depression and not moving forward, which happens to some people. What did you do? You spoke about writing a lot. That's very important. What do you write about? Maybe you have some journaling exercises for some people listening. You said you prayed a lot. So is that something that was connected to it? Tell me more in a sense and in general. People who are facing very hard times, Some of them, they just give up and become depressed and other people like yourself choose to be better and to never ever give up. What is the difference and what is your advice? Okay, actually, of course, each one of us would have a good day, bad days, etc. But a good day, you will forget that day, you know, because it was good, you was happy, you were laughing, etc. so it will be a memory. But a bad day, it will be a lesson. Today, I lived a bad day because, I don't know, of a kind bad situation, etc. Maybe if I take like a joke and I write, why this happens to me? First of all, maybe God wants me to learn something. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe because I didn't handle the situation like it used to be handled. You know, we don't need to play the role of victims also. You should be like, if we're creating drama and we are playing the role of victims, we will not learn the lessons. Because bad days will be happened, you know, sometimes, as I said, we will, in the end, if that bad day happened again, you can resolve it. You can find a solution because you live this. You know how you live every second of that bad day, like going back to home, you speak with your friends or family, even you write it in your journal. Today, I have a bad day because, for example, I didn't understand my colleague in work. I take it very personally. I didn't understand why this happened to me, maybe because, as I said, God wants to teach me something. God wants me to see that things in a clear vision, in a good way. So, first of all, we don't need to play the roles of victims. That's life. We need to accept it. We need to know that life, there is a good side and a bad side. We need to think also, if we lift a bad thing, we need to see the good thing about that thing. Because in every bad situation there is a good lesson to learn. You only need to keep faith in God, in yourself also, because confidence has a lot of magic in your life. If you feel confident, if you say, yes, I will resolve this situation, I will find a solution, I know how to fix, etc. It will be fixed. Like they say, it's a kind of way of manifesting your life. I will fix this thing. I will find a solution for the problems. There is many, many good ways to see the bad in every, sorry, to see the good in every bad situation. I like that perspective and that mindset is so rare and useful nowadays and I want you to give your perspective on another topic which may or may not be relevant to you. Nowadays in the age of social media there are many girls growing up and women who compare themselves to other women, how they look, the photoshopped photos, the lifestyle. And they think, "Oh wow, I'm not beautiful like her, so maybe I am ugly." They don't see their unique beauty or they see her living a luxury life. And they think, "Wow, if I work all my life, I'll never live like her. Why should I try?" What is your perspective on this? Did you struggle with comparing yourself to in looks to other women? And what's your advice to yourself, women and girls in general, so they see their unique beauty? Okay, actually, no, I don't compare myself to anyone because I see that each one of us is good and authentic and different in his own way. We are all beautiful, no matter how our shapes, our looking, our colors, etc. We have like, you know, the beauty is within, not without. If our heart is beautiful, automatically we will be beautiful. We don't need to use that kind of filters to look good because it's like an addition. Maybe you have a beautiful eyes and you don't see it, maybe other people see it in a different way. Maybe we have like a good, how to say, a good looking face, a good shade, etc. We need to accept it, we need to accept yourself. You have your own, like your own beauty and that's what makes you authentic, that's what makes you beautiful. We need to accept that each one of us has his own beauty. We don't know, we need to look like others to look beautiful. And if we work the same lifestyle, who said that you will be happy in that lifestyle? Why we always want to be like someone else? Why we don't be like ourselves? It's really good to be in your own skin. it's good to have your own life. Maybe she worked really hard to go to that place, to visit that, I don't know, that country, etc. It's okay to have like scars in your face. It's okay to have that, I don't know, those things that appears in your face, etc. It's okay, it's not like the end of of the world, maybe the things are different. We need to accept ourselves. We need to be more confident. We need to accept that everything in life is imperfect. And this is how it should be. Life shouldn't be perfect. If life was perfect, then we couldn't feel anything. If we will be the same, then we will not see the difference of ourselves. We will not see the difference of each one of us because our difference is what makes us united. And we are united as a human because we are different. It's not the opposite. I agree 100%. Thank you so much, Omaeema. And to finish this, you are very, very ambitious. Some people nowadays are not ambitious. Maybe they think it's not possible or they're busy living the life that other people told them they should live. How did you become so ambitious? What is also your perspective and advice for other women so they dare to understand, discover, and follow their ambition fully and never limit themselves? Actually, I worked for this in a few years ago this success that I'm in I'm still working also to have to achieve more in life I'm still working you know to change the words in a good way but why I am so ambitious I think because I love to share my knowledge and it's a power to share the knowledge with people why I am so ambitious because I believe that one day I could change the world in a good way, like I could make people happy, I could make people help them to achieve their dreams. So I work really hard, I sacrifice a lot of my time to become this like in this point of life, in this point of success. It's not an easy journey, some people choose to stay in their comfort zone just because they are afraid. You need to be more confident as I said you need to have more courage to face life. You know there is a motto in French, I don't know if I could say that in French or not, it will be "padrisque, padbonheur". It means like if you don't take the risks you will not be happy and that is a powerful changing moment in your life if you choose to take risks because you all need also to understand that no matter what is the result you are always a winner. I failed, I failed a lot in my life and but I learned to repeat the same mistakes that I have done and I want always to fail to learn. You need to accept your failure. That's what makes you like an ambition, an ambitious woman. This is how we build ambitions. When we accept failure, you know how to be more successful in life. Thank you so much, Uma'ima. It was my privilege and my honor to have you here to share your voice and your story and to share a part of your soul with this world. I appreciate everything you said. There is a lot of wisdom. I wish you to keep sharing your knowledge with people, to keep growing and to never ever have to face those difficulties you and your family faced before. Thank you again so much for participating. It was a pleasure. Thank you for choosing me and I really believe in this project. I'm so happy to be part of it because I think one day it will be like the most knowing podcast in the world. Thank you so much. I love the ambition and I agree with it 100%. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
