Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast, where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty and to feel their self-worth. They will connect with the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Savera Chauhan. Savera is currently waiting to start her course in Canada. She likes playing table tennis, reading, listening to music, going to the gym, and running. Savera is currently not living at a permanent residence because she keeps travelling between three states in India and also Dubai, United Arab Emirates, and will be going to Canada for studies. Savera models and manages social media accounts for a couple of people that she doesn't talk about much. She has a divorced mom who got remarried. So she has a stepfather and two step siblings. She is currently working on her mental health while also trying to keep everything perfect. Savera, how are you today? Hi, Elise. I am amazing today. And thank you so much for having me here. It's my privilege, my honour, and my good luck to have you here. I'm really excited to know much more about you. And so I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? OK, that's a very interesting question. I think they would say I am very optimistic. I am a little crazy and I am wild. Tell me a bit more about that because it's my true belief that there are too many things in society that try to crush the wild side and the crazy side of women. But that energy is what allows them to go out of the comfort zone to discover more, to fulfil their destiny and to be all they can be. So for you first, what is your definition of crazy? What is your definition of wild? Why are they different and not the same? And just tell me a bit more about that. So for me, crazy would be just someone who is not bound by social norms. Like, you know, when people tell you to be a certain way, but you do not want to follow those norms. You do not want to be bound by any terminology or anything like that. And I think wild is pretty much the same, but I just I don't know. Wild is the same for me. Thank you. And I want to know more. It's my own also sincere observation that the people who tend to be crazy or wild in the way that they defy social norms and don't follow mainstream expectations and ideas tend to be born that way. But for some people, they might have had it because something in their life made them change their perspective and trust themselves more than they trust society at large or whatever is outside of them. So they become their own source of decision making. But in your case, were you born this way? Were you born feeling always that you were a bit misaligned with the average person or most people and that you are looking for your persons, for your people that you needed to express yourself in a unique way so that they realize that you are different and similar to them? Or how was it? Did something happen that made you become like this? Or are you born this way? And it was a journey of becoming more and more free to be yourself. So I think somewhere I always thought I was a little misaligned with your regular people, but growing up, I saw my mom, who is actually my biggest inspiration. She was the strongest. She is the strongest person I know. She was a biker when not everyone was. She was a chef in a male dominated industry. So she's always stood out. She's never been your, you know, like at that time, every other Indian mom or Indian wife, they were all housewives. Like they weren't working and they were like, you know, they were just managing the household and everything. But my mom at that time, she was taking care of me, managing my her own parents and his household, and she was also working in a male dominated industry. So she has always been my superhero. I've always seen her and I've compared her with myself. And somewhere I knew I had to follow in her footsteps. So following in her footsteps meant I had to be unique. I had to be different. I had to be a little, I had to let go of what everyone thought I needed to be, to be what I always should have been. Thank you. So could it be genetic? Is your grandma and aunts and all those parts of your family a bit wild and crazy as well? Or was it an exception? Like your mom was the beginning of a new lineage of women who are free to be themselves more and more. Tell me a bit more about that, because there is also some argument that this kind of creative energy that comes from people who break the norm tends to be part of genetic variation just to keep the world interesting. So tell me a bit more. I think it's true when they say it's something about genetic mutation, because my grandma, who's my mom's mom, she was the she was the most rebellious sister among all her sisters. She was always in trend with her outfits and, you know, just decking up, looking pretty, marrying outside, you know, like not having an arranged marriage, which is a very big thing in India, by the way. And that time it was a very big thing. So she was the first one to have a love marriage. So I think we like my mom got it from my grandmom and then I got it from her. So I think it is a generational thing. Thank you. And since you have experience in India living there in Dubai as well, can you tell me in 2023, how are the expectations concerning women when it comes to India? Is there a lot of conservative thought that is expecting women to be a specific way that is not up to date and giving women their freedom and you living in Dubai, maybe you are surrounded by people from the Indian culture. So was that also transported and being part of your microcosm in Dubai or were you more free to be any person you wanted? Dressed anyway, you want to do whatever you want and be as crazy as you want in Dubai because you are more in a cosmopolitan state. Tell me a bit more about that because there are cultures and people who when they immigrate, they take their culture with them. And so no matter what they are, it just feels like back home. Tell me a bit more about that. So I'm going to start with India. I studied in a boarding school in India, which was a very strict boarding school. But in a way that boarding school has molded my personality as who I am today. And that school was a little conservative, but it was it was amazing. They never stopped us from being anything. They always pushed us into, you know, just going into the limelight. Like you want to go for debates, go for debates. You want to go for executions, go for executions. You want to go into school, go into school. They never stopped us. And my house, everyone was always supportive. And I think it's the same in Dubai. Nobody ever stopped me from wearing anything or dressing up in a particular way. Sharjah was a little different, actually, because Sharjah, you've got to dress up a little decently. But Dubai and India, I think it's because I always stayed in metro cities that I never had a problem with that. But other than that, I've never had to dress a certain way for anyone. Thank you for sharing that. And I am curious as well about your interest and love and participation in modeling. Modeling can be something very, very empowering to women, or it can be a cause for women to compare themselves to other women who look photoshopped and perfect. And therefore they feel crushed and they feel not so pretty and they forget their unique beauty. What's your approach to modeling that makes you feel good and happy in being a model? What's your philosophy about it or perspective? And how do you keep yourself feeling beautiful and balanced, even though you might be going to castings and comparing yourself to girls with different looks and beauty from all over the world? So modeling is actually a big slap in the face because it's like you cannot compare to women, but everyone is so beautiful. Like, how do you pick one? But somehow they managed to do that. Like, I think it's actually castings that pin us women against each other. But thankfully for me, I haven't been to a lot of castings. I actually get picked out, scouted or people reach out to me on my Instagram. And I generally don't post that on my Instagram. I opt to go with a little bit more of a just let the photographer do what they want. And comparing pictures, I never compare. I wait for the post-processed pictures because, again, that camera, it captures every single insecurity of yours. And unless they edit it out, you cannot compare yourself to anyone else. Your raw pictures always look worse than your post-processing pictures. Thank you. I understand it because if you spend your days looking at your flaws, that will mess with your mental health. And I know that you're currently working on your mental health. Can you tell me a bit more about that? Because this project is to show that everybody is a work in progress, that it's fine. And OK, for any woman, no matter how other people see her from the outside as successful and doing whatever, she will also sometimes struggle with mental health, with anxiety is very normal and nobody's perfect. To you, what do you mean with working on your mental health? How do you do it? Do you do it in an Indian way, doing yoga and meditations and following those traditions? Do you do it in a more modern way, like cognitive behavioral therapy? Or you just take walks in the park and go swim and connect with nature? I don't know how you do it. Tell me, why is it important? What is the meaning of taking care of mental health? And how do you do it? OK, so mental health for me is a very sensitive topic. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and severe anxiety disorder, which is basically bipolar is basically having an up and down of emotions like depression and mania, where you cannot control when you're depressed and when you're manic. So I cannot exactly control that. So I go for behavioral therapy, which is actually very beneficial. And I honestly push everyone to go for therapy because somewhere everyone needs therapy. It's a very big stigma that people who go for therapy are crazy and all, cuckoo in the head. But that is just something that people say, but therapy is very necessary. I don't do yoga, but my mom has been encouraging me to do yoga. So I think I'm going to go into it. I do meditate. I do go for walks. I do go for runs. I go to the gym, which is actually movement is actually a very good way to balance out your hormones in the head because when you exercise, when you move, you release a chemical called dopamine, which is the happy hormone. It makes you happy. So you just get comfortable with everything. Thank you very much for sharing that. I'm really, really happy about your openness and I encourage you to feel better and to get better and to know much more. You're going now to study in Canada. It's not easy to be accepted to go there. How did you do it? Well, at the same time, overcoming your bipolar disorder and all the things that you are working on in your life, because sometimes if you feel depressed, you don't feel like doing anything. How do you deal with it? How do you keep doing homework and doing all the work necessary no matter what? When you feel manic, can you tell me a bit more about that reality so that people who might have a similar experience and it's stopping them from pursuing their dreams can feel more inspired? I was actually accepted into UK in 2021 Leeds University. I was accepted into another university in Canada in 2022. In 2023, I am finally going because, again, my bipolar was acting up. So I couldn't get myself to go. Like I knew I had to go, but I didn't have that push. My mom, she did push me, which is why now I am finally going. And last year, when I did get accepted, I went off the rails and I went to a different city to just chill. And then I ended up not studying, which affected my mental health even more. And that is why now I am finally going and I am so happy and excited to be going. Thank you so much. And why did you choose Canada? I'm assuming that you had both options. You could still make it to the UK, which is culturally and traditionally and historically, in a way, closer to India than to Canada. While the weather is bad, but it's not as bad as in Canada in the UK. So tell me a bit more. Why Canada? What motivated you there? Did you choose a specific course or are you just joining to discover some things as a freshman and then specialize and major later? Tell me more about that plan and whether you are someone who thinks long term when it comes to what you want or you take it one step at a time. OK, I'm going to start with your last question. I do take it one step at a time, but I really want to start thinking long term because thinking long term is a lot better for your mental health because then you know what you're working towards. OK, my course, I am actually going for hospitality, food and beverage because, again, my mom's a chef and I've always been interested in being a mixologist, which is basically a cooler bartender where you don't just make drinks, you actually create drinks. It's a lot more fascinating, you know, being a woman, being a bartender, it's just it just then the chill down my spine. It makes me very excited. And why I chose Canada, my as you know, I have step siblings and I have a stepfather. They all three of them are actually Canadians. So they've always told me, you know, you should come to Canada. Canada's amazing. And my siblings are already there. My stepfather, he's in Dubai, but my siblings are there in Canada. So they've been calling me since the past one year saying you should come over. You know, you should come just experience it. Just have a blast. Chill with us. Live with us. So I'm really excited to go live with them. And I think it's because of them that I'm going to Canada. Thank you. That's very, very interesting. And it's a big change in weather going from one of the hottest places on Earth to one of the coldest places on Earth. So it's a huge thing. And I have interviewed two mixologists on my podcast. One was from Venezuela and one from Colombia, actually three and one from Italy working in Dubai. And so I understand all that and how fascinating and interesting it can be. And they're all great and very, very cool women to you as well to understand a bit more. You are someone who left from your city to go chill somewhere else in India and you keep traveling now. And later on, you're going to be with your siblings in Canada, starting a new life. How do you plan to make new friends? Is this something interesting for you or do you have some anxiety about it? Are you a homebody or are you a social butterfly? Is it dependent on your mood and where you are on your mental health journey? Someday you are a total extrovert and the other day you just want to sleep in bed all day. I don't know. But tell me more because that openness and truth and the raw reality of your life is actually what makes a difference and what makes people relate and women relate more than anything. It is obviously a very anxiety-filled journey going to a new country altogether, literally on the opposite end of the world. And making friends over there. I don't know what kind of friends I make over there. I don't know what kind of people I meet over there. I don't know anything about what will happen over there. And somewhere I think the not knowing factor is actually the fascinating factor. It makes you want to do it more. If someone says, "Oh, you don't know how it's going to be." Somewhere in your mind, you've got that earworm that keeps saying, "Don't you want to know what it's going to be like?" So that is what is actually pushing me to go to Canada. Just wanting to know what it's going to be like, experiencing new things. And it's never really been difficult for me to make friends. I do not know why, but I always end up making friends everywhere I go. My parents actually have a problem with that because I have way too many friends. So I'm always all over the place, just going to meet friends. Going to a different city, just to meet a friend. Just going to a different country to meet a friend. So it's always like just travelling around. Just meeting friends and chilling. And going out or being a homebody. I think that depends again on where I am on the scale of main neural depression. If I'm depressed, I like being home. If I'm manic, I am friends with absolutely every person on this planet. Thank you for sharing that. And it makes me curious as well if you have that earworm that's making you curious about what's going to happen. And I believe that's part of your crazy side and it motivates you to be even crazier, which is good because it pushes you out of the comfort zone into the unknown. But are you also a girl who gets bored easily? And if so, how do you manage that? Where many things in this world require a lot of boring repetition, such as studying, even like not yet to become a mixologist, but doing your homework before, doing things that are repetitive and routine, even going to the gym for many people that can be the same. Almost you just increase the weights and switch the exercises a bit. How do you deal with that if you are a girl who gets bored easily? I don't know how to answer that because sometimes I get bored easily. Sometimes I don't get bored. It depends on the thing. Gymming, I don't get bored. Studying, surprisingly, I do like studying, which is weird because nobody has ever seen me study. So it's like I study when I study. When I don't study, I don't study at all. I don't even look at my books. So I do get bored, but at the same time, I don't get bored that easily. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Yes. The things that are boring to you, you get bored from them. Things that are not boring to you, you don't feel bored from. And tell me a bit more about your life in Dubai. You spoke about Charja, Dubai. How was your experience in both places? And well, if your stepfather is in Dubai, why go to Canada where maybe the weather you, as a girl who is from that part of Asia, is not used to such freezing cold for so long. So why not consider to pursue a career and to study all that in Dubai itself? What made you want to change? Did you get bored? Like we said that you could. Tell me a bit more. But first, how was your experience living in Dubai? And how was that compared to Charja? How did you feel? What could you do? How crazy could you be? Did you need to limit yourself and you hated the fact that you had to and that was part of it? So tell me first about the reality of your life in those both Emirates and as well. Why not just become a mixologist in Dubai and keep that hot weather train going? I could actually work in Dubai. Maybe I will. Maybe I'll come back from Canada. I don't know right now. As far as the weather is concerned, I like I told you, I studied in a boarding school in India, which was in a pretty chilly area. It was in Masuri, which is known as the Queen of the Hills in India, which is also known as Switzerland of India. It's like pretty good. It's chilly. It's windy sometimes. It rains. It's like a perfect mixture of weather. So I actually won't be taking that big a step. It snows as well over there. So it's not that big of a step, but it is a big step. And I think I actually prefer the cold. Charja is a little bit more conservative as compared to Dubai. And when I was living in Dubai, I was studying and now like in school, I was in school at that time. And now I when I was in Charja, I was actually in college. Like, you know, I was done studying in school. So I was a little bit more grown up. So I had a little more freedom. But at the same time, I was I didn't have enough freedom to wear like shorts and everything, unless I was in the same area as my building. Like if I was going a little far, I had to be a little bit more concerned about what I was wearing, because I didn't want to be pinpointed by anyone, you know, like, don't wear that. This is not appropriate and all that. So just respecting the culture of the place, I was a little bit more restricted. Thank you so much. And to finish this, is there any advice that you have to women so that they will live happier, live up to their potential? Absolutely. Do great things in this world and not let mental health or expectations of other people stop them from living their dreams fully. The only thing I think I would like to say is don't let other people's definition of beauty or their expectation from you, you know, divert you from what your end goal is, because your personal end goal is yours. And nobody in this world should have the right to tell you what to do, or who to be. Because if you let other people tell you what to do or who to be, it's going to affect your mental health. And that way, you're going to just end up hampering your future. Thank you so much. It was my privilege and my honor to have you here to share your voice. I wish you all the success, all the adventures. Like you said, you don't know what you'll do next. After learning to become a great mixologist, you might travel the world sharing your new drinks that you're creating with all of humanity. I appreciate your time and thank you again for participating. Thank you so much Aziz for having me. It was an honor being here.
