Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz, and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others, and they struggle with their mental health, but when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast, where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories many women will feel, inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all insecurities they will feel. It is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty, and to feel their self worth, and they will connect with the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. This is what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Maria Abel-Tina. Maria is a teenage model based in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. Originally from Russia, Maria loves skateboarding. She currently studies psychology, economics, Spanish, and sociology, but she plans on focusing studying on biology and product design in the future to have a varied field of knowledge. Maria, how are you today? Hello. Thank you for this opportunity. I'm good. We're going to have so much fun today. I am ready, and I want to know much more about you. So I'll begin with this nice question, which is, Maria, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I think I'm more-- I think I hope they describe me as more outspoken, and how I would be maybe last year or a couple of years before, and maybe more confident, extroverted, overall just kind, because that's my main goal, to spread my energy towards other people, and to be more outspoken, and not be shy, like how I used to be. Thank you. That's very, very interesting. I want to know much more about that. But first, what is for you the definition of being kind? Because when you say to share your energy, that's more of the unique experience that you have. So if you could explain that, what is to you the meaning of kind? Why is it important for you? Tell me much more, and maybe how you're not kind when you're shy. It could be an interesting thing to think about. I think kindness is more about maybe helping other people when you feel they're struggling, instead of pushing them away. And maybe even not getting mad at someone, if anything. Not spreading any negative emotions onto anyone, only to try, only be positive towards other people. And yeah, I think that's how kindness is supposed to be shown. And that's what I try to do. Thank you. And so what happened, just for me to understand, let's say you meet people, you give them good vibes, good energy, share your energy with them. Does it mean that they feel better, so you feel good? Or does it mean that maybe they also carry the positive energy and spread it in the world, and one by one it spreads and has a whole positive universe filled with love? Or how does it work? Is it for your own self that when you're kind, you feel better? And that's why it's important. Is it that you feel that every little thing matters, like the butterfly effect in chaos theory and changes the world? Or what is behind all of that? I think actually both. In some cases, it's very refreshing when you see that someone is positive, when you give them positive vibes, and you feel good about yourself, of course, if someone else feels happy around you. But also, it is a good feeling when someone's also positive, not you being positive and trying to make a negative person more positive. I think if both people are positive, it's really good energy. And it's going to be a perfect friendship. And just maybe even your whole day might be filled with positive vibes just because of that one interaction. And yeah, as the butterfly effect, people pass that on to other people. And that, I think, is perfect. Thank you. So I am wondering, is this true for you as well? What I mean is you described in general that for people when they have one good interaction, their day is filled with positivity. Does it work for you as well? Are you a sensitive girl who's maybe an empath? And so the energy of the people around you, the interaction with people are primary and a very essential part of your mood and how happy you are in life. Or is it different maybe since you are shy, you are introverted, and it's not 100% about the people you could be near the beach, or in a good artistic spot, and you feel great, and it's not requiring any interaction by people. Tell me a bit more about you in particular. Are you a super empath? And so the energy of the people is everything in your world, or how is it? I mean, I think both also applies here. But mostly, interactions do make me feel-- positive interactions make me feel better. Specifically, for example, if I see someone's happy, it makes me happy as well, because I know that they're probably having a good day, and that makes me want to have a good day. But also, I guess sometimes in some situations, it's better to be alone than doing your own thing, rather than basing your positivity off of other people and off of interactions. I think it's very important to also let yourself have time on your own and just find inner peace and positivity. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm curious about the part and the time when you were shy. Why do you think that was happening? Did you worry maybe people will judge how you look, or whether you're interesting enough, or your energy? Or is it just that growing up, you spend too much time without people, new people, all the time, so it was kind of a new experience, that you did not have the social skills for it? Or how was that created? What made that happen so that we can speak about the transformation into a more open person? All my life, I do feel like I was a very introverted person. Maybe it was because I am an only child, and I grew up with my mom. And I had no siblings. So I guess from a very young age, I was always on my own. And I got kind of used to it. So it wasn't sad for me because I was used to it. So I guess maybe that's why I became kind of introverted throughout my life and only now started to realize a bit that I should be a bit more extroverted. Really, I think that's why. And maybe there is kind of a feeling where you are afraid of being judged, which I do feel sometimes. Or it's like talk too much. I feel like maybe I'm bothering someone. But I feel like that was in the past. And I should come to terms with the fact that I'm my own person and that it's just better to be more outspoken. If people don't like it, then that's fine by me. I like that confidence. And it was literally my situation as well. I grew up with only my mother as a single mother, as an only child. And I experienced being a daydreamer and someone who is alone introverted. And it was not depressing or sad in any way. It was just the usual space and time. But of course, over time, you choose to be different, at least in my situation and in my case. So let me know about that part. Why did you feel that it was important for you to open up to people, especially as someone who grew up and spent some of your early teenage years during the pandemic and social isolation and all that worry? And so many people, since that time, they lost a lot of social skills and became used to staying at home all the time without new people. So in that time, when everybody is becoming more closed, you are the one choosing to be more open. What motivated this? What benefits did you decide on and choose at your age of mid-teenage in order for you to decide to be different? It was more like at the end, I think, of the pandemic where it was complete isolation. And it was completely different. Of course, I grew up as an only child. But after quarantine, after two years of almost not meeting anyone, I think I realized how depressing it could get and how it could affect your mood. And when we exited quarantine, I started to be way more extroverted. Because I came to that realization where I was in complete isolation, it's not a good feeling. And it would probably be better if I could be more outspoken, extroverted, make new friends, not be afraid to speak my mind with strangers or people I know. And that really did change my life, I think, especially in the past year. Thank you very much for sharing that. And you mentioned earlier that the kinds of people that you are interested in and most bonded to are positive people when you give each other good vibes and positive energy, kindness, and sharing all that goodness with each other. And it makes your day. And now you said that you have been, especially in the last year, interested in making more new friends. So two things. One, what are for you the criteria of a good friend, the kinds of friends that you want to make? And two, is there a spot or a kind of industry or place that you discovered is perfect to find such people more than others? Because often, such positive people tend to congregate maybe in the art, in the fashion, in the modeling, in just specific pages on social media or whatever it is. So first, are there other criteria for the right person that you desire to have as a friend? And secondly, did you find any pathway or a place that you can add those in Dubai or whatever to your life? Yeah, I think specifically the people that I want in my life are the positive people. Because I realized how negative people can influence your own views in the world and how you can also have that negative energy. And when you are with a positive person and you're both positive for me, it's just perfect. Because it makes me feel good. It probably makes the other person feel good. And there's no negative energy bringing me down or making me feel less confident. And I think in industry-- and why I entered-- part of the reason why I entered the modeling industry is specifically because it was filled with so many confident people who know their self-worth and who are mostly all super extroverted. And it's super easy to make friends there. Because not only are they extroverted and outspoken, just like I wish to be. But they're also really nice, really kind. They help you out. I think it's the perfect industry for me to be in. That's great. I'm happy you found that. And yes, it is part also of change in stereotypes that if a girl is a model, doesn't mean that she should be closed off or snobbish or not smart. It's something that is important to share with the world that every woman is unique and has, like you said, a lot of high self-worth as well as to other people and a lot of interesting things to say. And to ask you, though, about the other side. Because earlier, you said that sometimes, although you can be confident, you might feel a worry about judgment. As a model, you are competing for photo shoots for whatever you do with other girls that look beautiful, especially you as a teenager growing up in the age of social media. And you probably follow models who will be looking perfect and even photoshopped. Have you dealt with the comparison between how you look and other girls? And sometimes you felt down because of it? Or if not, how did you deal with it? How do you make yourself see yourself as a uniquely beautiful woman who has a lot of self-worth instead of comparing yourself to anybody else or to unrealistic standards? Personally, I did-- sometimes, of course, there are moments. I feel like many women feel the same, where they-- especially social media, like you said-- people compare themselves to other women, to other people a lot. And personally, sometimes that does bring me down. Well, you used to. Sometimes still does. But I tried to, of course, avoid it. But I think how you deal with it is just realize that everyone in the world is made differently for a reason. And that you can find your own beauty in yourself. Everyone is perfect in their own way. And even though people probably heard that a lot, I just want to say it because it's true. And it helped me realize that if I had any insecurities, for example, I'd point out that-- I mean, that's what makes me special. That's what makes me recognizable. Being different is good because-- for example, I'd notice how sometimes my facial features were different from others. And I'd say to myself that that is good. I'm not similar to them. I'm different in my own way. I have special features that probably can get me recognized. And that just made me feel a lot better that they're not bad features. They're just different, but in a good way. I love that mindset and that perspective. And it's very empowering. Also in your introduction, as I said-- and it's also something that you mentioned to me before-- that you are interested in having a lot of knowledge. You're interested in learning and growing as a person in life. Is this correct? Is this one of your priorities as you enter more and more of your teenage years? Yeah, I think it is one of my top priorities because there's a lot of competition in the world. And there's a lot of people that I know have so many options out for them. And I want the same. I want to study so much and a lot. So I have many options in life, many career paths. Because I know I do want to be a model. Studying everything at once, studying the things that I love can probably-- even if my modeling career, which I hope will succeed, but I have many options to myself, things that I'm good at and things that I enjoy. Because I see a lot of people that do jobs that they don't enjoy, which just brings you down. And I think it's really important to find many careers that you love and you're good at, which exactly is-- that's what I want to do. 100%. And then it makes me think because I want to clarify which one is a higher priority for you. Imagine there are a group of people who have a lot of knowledge that they can give you. Whenever you're around them, you learn so much about the things you're fascinated with. You feel you have a lot more wisdom to open doorways to opportunities in your career and your life. But their energy is neutral. You don't feel good. You don't feel bad. It's just there is no energy exchange. Or a group of people-- if you could deep down, in both cases, you'll be successful. So I'm not saying that if you go with this group of people, you lose everything. I'm not saying they're idiots. But I'm saying is, what they give you primarily is good vibes. You exchange them together. They make your day. But with those people, any time you spend that time, you are only getting energy, no knowledge at all. Which one would you choose? Which one would you prefer? And why if you had to choose one? It's a very hard option, I think, personally, for myself. But I think I should trust myself with my knowledge. And I'm mostly focused on meeting people with positive vibes. And it's fine if they don't give me advice for my future or are not full of knowledge. I think I'd like to trust myself with that more because that's something I need to do. And it's good, of course, to get advice and be surrounded by people that have a lot of knowledge. Sometimes it's also good to, as I said, trust yourself. And along the way, you'll have positive people that motivate you just simply by being positive. And yeah, I think that's what I'd choose. Thank you. And you mentioned trusting yourself. Can you tell me, how does that relate to confidence? Because you spoke earlier about how the people in the modeling industry are extroverted and confident, and you wanted to develop that. So tell me a bit more about that. What I mean is, what is for you the meaning of confidence? How is it developed, and you're working on developing it? And how is trusting yourself a part or not of confidence? Trusting yourself, you become confident because you know that you can do something. And I think it really relates since-- I mean, specifically in modeling, for example, you have to trust yourself to know that you won't fail. And which, I mean, that is technically confidence, that yeah, you won't fail. You'll go out there. You'll show everyone that you can do this. And there's no judgment. That's technically because you trust yourself. And I go out there. I actually do modeling because I trust myself to be confident to go out there and show what I'm made of. I think, yeah, that's why it links. Thank you very much. And you're originally from Russia, and you're living in Dubai culturally and in your mindset and personality since you even study psychology. Are you more of a Russian girl with a Russian-- whatever that could be, because Russia is a huge continent by itself filled with multiple cultures, but in general? Are you more of a cosmopolitan person? Are you more Russian? Are you more of the mixture that is unique to Dubai? Or since you're learning Spanish deep down in your heart, you're a Latina born as a Russian woman. Or how does it work? I feel very connected to my culture, specifically in Russia, because I grew up with my mom being really connected to her culture. And I consider Dubai my second-- how you can say culture as well-- second home. And to be Spanish, I would consider myself Latina or something, though. It's more of just a lovely language. And I just find the culture really interesting. But me, myself, personally, I mostly identify as Russian. And I'm really connected to that culture. I try to be. Because since I live here, I don't really know much. As much as my mom, I don't know that much. I wasn't born there. I live my whole life in Dubai. But in a way, I still do feel really connected to the culture in Russia, thanks to my mom, Obly. Thank you. And so I will ask you about something that is sometimes commonplace in Dubai, which is that people are so ambitious and working so hard that they don't find time after the first connection to meet again. So for you, the other girls that you're meeting at your modeling situations and modeling castings, et cetera, how are you making them your friends? Do you meet sometimes for coffee or for whatever in order to develop those relationships? Or do they become online friends only? It varies, actually, because some friends I have are from my school, because I would study modeling since I didn't know anything about it. And mostly, they're friends from that school. Some of them are still my friends. I mean, we meet up and we talk over coffee and we go to restaurants together, full-on friendship, we meet. Some of them are a bit distanced. We're still friends, but they're busy with their own thing. I'm busy with my own thing. That's more online. But still looking at my online friends who are working so hard and who I was in a class together with, seeing them achieve their dreams and how they're working so hard is also a motivator. It's amazing seeing how people you worked alongside with are now super successful in their own way. And yeah, so in different ways, I'm still friends with a lot of people, mostly through those classes that I have. Thank you so much for sharing that. And to finish this, is there any advice that is related to confidence that you can give to any other teenage girls who might be shy in this moment and they don't know where to start? They don't know how to embrace their power? They don't know how to believe in themselves in order to go after their own dreams and do their thing? Yeah, most importantly, I would advise, especially teenagers who are on social media looking at all those influencers and models to just not focus on them, but focus on yourself. Focus on raising your confidence by constantly being a positive person, going out there, and just don't give up because there's so much competition in the world and it's so hard to love yourself. But if you try and if you realize how beautiful you are, how strong you are as a woman, how just perfect you are, you can find your confidence and there are so many for us, obviously. Thank you so much, Maria. It was my privilege and my honor to have you here in this podcast. I wish you all the success, both in modeling and in having all the career options that you wish for. And thank you again for participating. Thank you so much. It was a lovely conversation.
