Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz, and I'm the son of a divorce mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about life. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others, and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast, where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and overcome all insecurities. They will feel it is a safe space to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty, and to feel their self-worth. And they will connect with the sisterhood of Rare Girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Freya Joli. Freya is a 22-years-old college student, a Dominican, Swedish ethnic mix, and entrepreneur in the health, wellness, and the psychology field. Her hobbies include reading, writing, sketching, traveling, acrobatics, networking, modeling, and mythology. She markets health and wellness services as her day job while she goes to school at the Harriet Wilkes Florida Atlantic University Honors College. Freya, how are you today? I'm doing well. Thank you. How are you? I feel blessed. I feel filled with energy and super excited to know much more about you. So I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, Freya, if your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you? The first thing that comes to mind is bubbly. I'm always very energetic. And when I'm around people-- I don't know. This sort of extroverted energy comes out that just is giggly and laughs. So energetic, but also a very varied type of person. I have a lot of variety to me. So all different sorts of styles and mixes, as you know. And yeah, that's what I would really describe other people describing me. Thank you. I have so many questions related to that. But let's begin with the varied part. Is the secret to you being so varied the fact that maybe you're a girl who gets bored easily of everything, so you need new things, new emotions, new experiences? Or what is the secret of that? Tell me more. That's actually really, really intuitive, what you just said. Because yeah, I really tap into energy strongly, like fire. And the flame is so strong, and I put my entire emotion into it. But then it fizzles out almost, I don't know, quickly. So I go through spurts of painting a lot, spurts of different styles, and et cetera. And I've noticed that if you keep yourself balanced and kind of flow through these spurts of energy and creativity, it helps you connect it all together and realize there's not an end. You don't need to do it to finish. You need to do it to just express yourself. And your body kind of goes through rhythms. And if you listen to it, it will honor you. So that's what my tip is. I love those metaphors. You spoke very poetically right there. And I want to know much more, which is you said, there is no end in sight. It's about you enjoying the journey and moving forward. Can you tell me a bit more about that? What is about that experience that makes you express yourself? Is it that you're figuring out who you are through these? And therefore, it's you discovering who you are or is it that you have emotions and you're expressing them? How does that process work for you energetically and emotionally? Well, I truly believe that I'm here to elevate myself and to elevate others around me. So me expressing who I am is a necessity. It's so important. And yes, absolutely. We need to enjoy the passage of time. And once we really understand that we don't have to rush, we don't have to finish, it shouldn't be for completion. It should be more like, I'm here, I'm being, I'm aware. And I'm using my awareness and my attention to focus on right raising, like becoming better and truly being here in the experience of life. Thank you. I appreciate and I love that very much. So you are someone who is going through the flow of life and experience in it fully and completely. And I notice that you're using two different metaphors, the metaphor of the fire that fizzles out and the metaphor of flow, which can be the wind or the water. Can you tell me about that? Are you very connected with nature? Are you someone who sees maybe yourself as a fire sign or someone who lives in Florida near the beach? So you're very much in tune with that. Tell me a bit more because I noticed that those are elements of nature that you see and perceive the world through. Well, I have always been the type of person who has connected with every element, fire, water, air, and the Earth. It just all feels so important. Swimming, for example, it's that energy, I don't know, is so nice to connect with. And the wind, I think I connect with the wind the most because for me, I always feel like I'm flying. And I thought that sounds silly, but I really do have a connection with just that flowing energy, as we spoke of, and air. Just that breath, for example, is what connects us all. It's the connection to everything, air, breathing. So to answer your question, yes, super connected to nature because I think that's where we are the most connected to. But I can also really appreciate both that inside, outside type of feeling. I love being cozy inside, but I also love hikes and walks and being with one with nature. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm really curious about another thing. The way you speak is hyper metaphorical and you are very kinesthetic and someone who's very embodied in the way that you express yourself. And you really love connection. But I'm imagining that you don't get many people who get you or understand what you're talking about. They'll be like, well, you sound poetic, but they have no idea what you just said. Is this your daily experience? Because I can get what you are saying, but because you speak so metaphorical, too many people won't even get what you're talking about. Yeah, I do get that a lot. Honestly, I really do. I know exactly what you're saying. I am perceived in a way sometimes that people just can't connect to. And I've kind of accepted that and understood like there are sides of myself that I can't share with everybody. And they can be just for me. But the people who will understand and get it, I will just naturally be drawn to speak of it. My dream is to be a speaker and author. And I'm writing a book right now. And my way of communicating is, as you said, poetic. Has some sort of flow to it that is kind of rhythmic, but can also be sporadic. So it's kind of something that I'm learning to hone in and kind of slow down the way that I do speak. But I also love the energy that I bring. So I'm learning the balance. When you said sporadic, it reminded me of your earlier metaphor of the fire that fizzles out and then burns again and fizzles out. So it's probably connected. Yeah, right. That was a very good connection. And you said, if I understood you correctly, that you are put on this Earth in order to transform other people and impact them and to grow as a person and elevate. And that is done through self-expression. And one of the ways that you're doing them is by becoming a speaker and writing the book that you're writing. Is this a correct chain of the way that you see the world? Right. I absolutely would say so. Yeah, it definitely feels like that's what my desire is to share. And I just don't feel like I'd have a purpose without expressing myself. [LAUGHS] This is perfect. I want to extract some wisdom from that. There are some women that I have interviewed who said that sometimes they have things that they want to share. But they think who will listen is not important enough. Nobody will care. And so they keep their song inside their hearts. And they think that, oh, if I express it, either nobody will care or they will care enough to judge me on it. And that will hurt too much. What is your secret or advice to them so that they will speak loud, share their voices, and not really be thinking about the trepidation and possibility that someone might judge? So I still struggle with that fear of, what are people going to say? How are they going to perceive me? I am always continually, daily, getting opinions and judgment. And I've learned that this is your life. We're here to be you, whoever that is. So it needs to be a pace that is a little bit challenging where you're starting to release your emotions or your expressions. But it also is very-- it's important to understand that it's for you, essentially. This is your life. It's interesting how you said song. Because I love to sing, but I'm very, very cautious about who I sing around because of what you say. Judgment. How do I do that without stifling that feeling? And I think that's taking some time, but slowly I'm going to start sharing more of that side. I salute that. I encourage that very much. You said right now that it's important that you share at a pace that challenges you. But earlier you said that you express yourself in such a way that people don't connect. So you need to pace yourself down. So how do those work? Because those are opposites. You're trying to rein yourself in so that you connect with people, but you're trying to challenge your expression and your way that increases it at a higher pace. And that will create cognitive dissonance. So how does that work? That's actually a really good point that you made. How do I go forth and answer that? I think once again, it is about the balance. We do go through this sort of waves, like the ocean, up and down. And sometimes the wave is going to be bigger and stronger. It's all about that pull that you feel. So challenging yourself enough to where you're like, yes, I'm feeling fulfillment, but so much so that you just feel like it's too much. So the crashes of the wave, it depends on that force that you feel. Which is great. And so when I'm thinking about the way you spoke about the wave, it's exactly how you spoke about fire earlier. Do you see that every element of the universe is the same wave? It just manifests in different ways. So for you, fire is water, is wind, is earth, but it's all just different expressions of the same rhythm. Tell me a bit more, because that will be unique. People will not perceive that fire is water. They see them as opposites when you're seeing some unison between. So this gets very spiritually connected, because this is about oneness and being one with everything and understanding that everything is one. It all becomes one. And sometimes it scatters off into different things, but it's all the same thing, being whole, being here, presence, awareness, source, whatever you want to call that, the universe. There's so many different words for the same, as you said, energy, but they're describing different things. There's different elements. It's a very deep question and answer, because spirituality is that something is above us. Something is with us and guiding us if you trust it, if you allow it. And a lot of different things that I've been feeling and sort of understanding is that sometimes we're resisting against our own higher good, and we just need to get out of our own way to be pulled and drawn to that destination. Yeah, I think that's all I can answer for now. Thank you. I have two thoughts about that. One, it reminds me of you said when you spoke about oneness and you said that you are yearning and you need connection. That's the same thing. So you want to feel that you're connected with other people to the oneness of the universe. At the same time, the way that you express yourself, which is very, very much fantastic, makes me think, what will be the topic of the book that you are writing now? Can you share a bit more related to that? OK, yeah. So this really has to do with my human experience, this lifetime that I'm feeling and the people around me who've influenced me in this journey. It's very rhythmic. This book is about the themes in my life and also my culture. So what I've learned in different types of cultures, if you've ever heard of Omnism, it's kind of finding the truth in all religions. There may be opposing views or perspectives of these different cultures, of course. But there's always truth in all these different types of religions. And I think it's all-- like you said, and I said, oneness and wholeness and finding that connection of everything. So this book is really about that. Thank you so much for sharing that. Earlier, you spoke about presence and how it's important for you to experience this life and your human experience through presence. And you spoke as well now about rhythm, which is-- some people think that means it's auditory, but it's not. It's kinesthetic. And normally, kinesthetic people grow up hypersensitive to emotions. You feel everything, the breeze of the air. You feel your skin. It's magnified in ways that are very strong, which also means that pain is strong. And when you are little growing up with someone saying a snarky comment or whatever, it would hurt. How did you not build walls and stay open and present to connection and to reality when many people-- as soon as, especially if you feel like emotions 10 times stronger or more than other people, it means that each pain is magnified. How did you either heal or prevent trauma or recirculate that energy and maybe turn it into love or whatever that you did? How did you make yourself not get jaded and become someone who has your guard up and instead you stay open and flowing? So this-- what a beautifully put question. It all, for me, connected to just feelings are so important to feel. It's so important to give yourself that space to allow all of these feelings to be felt 100%. Like nothing should be stifled or put down. It should all truly be felt. And I think I express that through my words. I express that through my writing. I express that through my art, my modeling, everything. Fashion, it's all kind of being expressed. And I honestly have said to these people who have put me down or tried to put this sort of feeling that I am not doing what I need to, I feel right. I'm being exactly the emulation of the person that I want to be. And I feel that deeply and truly that I don't have the desire to bend the ways of who I am for other people. It's, in my opinion, a projection, a reflection of themselves that they don't want to accept. An exception is so-- awareness and exception, that's so, so important. And if you don't have these qualities of courage to accept yourself and others around you, it's going to be a hard path. I agree 100%. Plus, even more, there are many women in this world who are taught, since being little girls, to sacrifice themselves for other people. And as well as another thing, they have the voices of their mothers, their fathers, their parents, their teachers telling them what is right and what is wrong. So when they try to listen to their own truth, they cannot hear it because it's crowded by those voices and those limitations. And so for you, if you were to give advice to those women, what would you say plus, and especially, if they are going to hear their own truth, how do they recognize it? How would they know? They will say, well, I feel that this is me, but I have some doubt because maybe it's my grandmother who said something in 2010 or whatever it is, and I'm still remembering it and holding onto it until today. Is there a unique feeling about it when they're hearing themselves versus the voices programmed onto them? Is there any different energy? Should they meditate in a specific way and clear out all that garbage before they're ready? Tell me much more about this because this can be very, very useful. So this is where scripting comes in and storytelling and imagination. And there's going to be a disconnect with some people who are not going to be able to understand this because they're so in their logic, in their numbers state of mind that it's too tunnel vision to see this. But if you could open up the perspective a little bit and start thinking about the imagination of who we tell ourselves who we are, who we decide who we are, it's so much about getting back into that childlike feeling, emulation of being like, this is who I knew I was supposed to be, writing it out, and truly connecting and feeling, not disconnecting with these feeling states of who you truly desire to be. So many people tell themselves, I can't be myself because of this, what this person said, what this person said, because of what I did years ago, because of these pictures or video, whatever it may be, whoever may have said anything. And then they're blocking this version of themselves that is exactly who they want to be. So it's writing it down and envisioning, who is this woman, this man that I decide that I'm going to be? Who is it? And it's constantly asking yourself this question day in, day out, weeks, months, like planning, who is this person writing it down over and over again? How's my house going to look? How am I going to feel? Who's going to be around me? How are they going to be like? And even if it's not what you see today in this reality that you're living in, if you start truly feeling like this is happening, truly feeling this is the life that I am feeling, it's going to start happening. It doesn't matter. Don't tell people who don't believe. Do not tell people who do not believe your vision, because they're going to make you shut down again. And that's OK. They haven't been given this vision. It's your vision. So look at it as yours. I love that very, very much. And I have something just to finish with, because I'm sure you have a lot of wisdom and it's adjacent to what you are talking about, which is, there are many women who have this anxiety that is overfilling them every single day and keeping them within their comfort zone. And they have big dreams. They know that vision, but they feel, what if I go out of my comfort zone and something bad happens and I'm done? Or what if negative things happen? Let me just stay within what I know rather than what I don't know. And then time passes and they never experience life in that place where the treasures of all the richness that they're meant to have is outside of their comfort zone, but they never get to experience it. What is your advice to those women who might see the vision but they refuse the call to adventure because of anxiety, overthinking, and worrying? That beautiful question once again elegantly said, I know these women. I'm friends with these women who constantly think of these terrorizing thoughts in their mind and believe it. This is where you need to disconnect with the thinking mind. This is where you need to disconnect and be awareness and look at these thoughts like, this is not me. This is not self. This is not who I believe I am. They are just thoughts, terrorizing thoughts. And once you're able to actually step out for a moment and just look at these thoughts and think, who is in my mind? What is in my mind from my past visions that is making me believe this? And even saying it out loud and demanding that this is not who I am. This is not who I'm choosing to be anymore. And something that I practice a lot is looking in the mirror and telling myself who I am. Not who I was, not who I'm going to be who I am in this day. Even before I open my eyes, there are times when I say to myself, I am so grateful for this. I'm so grateful for this. And I really feel that gratitude of whatever it may be, intelligence, the family around me, the connections, the abundance, the travel. I'm so blessed, even if it's from the past, whatever it may be. So truly getting into this blessed state of mind and ignoring the frustrations. It's OK if it's there. Just focus on what feels good. So it's where you put your attention. Exactly. I agree 100% with that, that what grows your positive energy and feels good is actually what's meant for you. And thank you so much, Freya. This was my privilege and my honor to have you here to share your voice, to hear you express your truth. And I wish you all the success in the world and to impact millions with your communication and ability to tell the truth and share your voice in this world. And thank you again for participating. Thank you very much. It was a pleasure.
