E003 Diana Shalashna

Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 0:08 femininity is powerful in all its forms exceptional women. Rare girls must be appreciated in every way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being. Such rare girls are inspiring. And this is what this podcast is all about. Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Diana Shalashna. Diana is the FLEX Alumni coordinator of central Ukraine, and an English Access micro scholarship program alumna of 2017, and a FLEX alumna of 2018. She is now an international relations and social communications student at Borys Grinchenko University in Ukraine. Diana, how are you today? Diana Shalashna 1:05 Hello Aziz. I am Fantastic. Thank you. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 1:09 I'm happy, honored and lucky to have you here. And we will discuss many, many topics. But since this podcast is about women and girls, what does it mean for you to be a woman? What is femininity? Is it some type of energy? Is it behavior? Is it a look? Is it a kind of thing that you can describe in words? Diana Shalashna 1:39 Thank you for the question. Indeed, it's really interesting to me, because before becoming an exchange student in the US, femininity for me, was being a girly girl wearing pink, getting flowers for the Eighth of March, and just cleaning the house and cooking. But after I went to the west, I explored that femininity is actually power. Women can work, whoever they wish to work, they can really raise kids, they can, I don't know, make a lot of money, do projects. And it's actually really empowering for me right now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:18 Do you feel very feminine or flexible in how you can approach life? Diana Shalashna 2:26 I am not sure if I feel very feminine. Sometimes there are moments when I feel like I'm wearing the pinkest color ever. I'm the most feminine girl in the world. But sometimes I'm just the girl fighter who does what is gotta be done some work. And I just think I'm flexible more of a flexible, feminine. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 2:54 Thank you. And since we spoke about femininity, what is masculinity for you? How do you experience it? And how would you describe it? And how do you notice it? Diana Shalashna 3:08 It's also actually a really good and thought provoking question. masculinity. For me, I don't want to define it with some stereotypical roles. I don't want to say that it's about men who need to work and bring the money and provide the household. For me. Masculinity probably is about character, maybe some character traits that can be described as a strong person may be a person who likes to do some various projects, or do the projects the way that the most masculine people do. For me, it's kind of difficult, because I don't really have a lot of masculine people who I communicate with in my life. But I definitely don't want to turn to stereotypes. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 4:02 Thank you. And these days with you being a Ukrainian with the war happening. How do you feel that chaotic, and really, really horrible situation change you as a person? Did it at first have really negative consequences on your mental health but you found ways to appreciate life more to enjoy every moment and see it as special because of how precious it is? Or you are the same? You just are adapting to the situation. Diana Shalashna 4:41 I can definitely say that I have changed a lot during this time and I can be a little bit I don't I want to find some optimistic things. I want to be thankful for the experience just so that I became stronger person. So that I could provide myself with more things that I couldn't do before the war. I think that I adjusted, better now, I feel calm. But at the same time, I feel a lot of emotions, I can feel hate. And actually, I find it positive because it gives me a lot of energy. And this energy, I used to do some good things. So I find that right now, all the range of emotions that I'm feeling is good, because it gives me some motivation to work to change something. I'm not calm at all. I'm not really peaceful. I'm always up to date with the news, but it gives me energy to move on. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 5:49 Tell me more about that. Because a lot of modern people complain, they don't have energy throughout the day. What's your secret? To have more energy? Is it those emotions that trigger the energetic flow within you? Or do you have a special diet and work out for it? Or is it genetic? Or how do you have such a high level of energy in life? Diana Shalashna 6:16 Well, actually, I don't have a diet or workout I wish I could, I actually don't really have energy for that, even though I try every day to wake up and maybe go jogging. But what gives me energy is seeing the horrible consequences of everything that's happening. And seeing that my help actually matters. Since we are running a fundraiser with Flex alumni, and I can see the result of the fundraiser the amount of money we could get the amount of money to spend what exactly robot, it gives me really great examples of what my action can do. So when I see something really bad happening, first, of course, I feel upset, I feel so depressed. But then I think, what can I do? What can I donate? How can I help. And then all these processes started happening, I started involving people texting posting, and it actually helps if we keep silent, nothing is changing. But if we do say something, if we do reach out to other people, we get the response. So this is my kind of scheme of working right now. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 7:32 Thank you. But then how do you deal with situations and projects where you cannot see immediate results and effects, things that are big and meaningful and significant? Where you might need five to 10 years in order to see the results? Or do you prioritize projects where there is more of an immediate gratification? Diana Shalashna 7:58 The project that I'm working right now, and I spend a lot of time on it, the fundraiser we're doing, we're collecting money for Ukrainian armed forces. And initially, our goal was $100,000, which of course, at first sounded like Unreal and realistic goal, but we were able to already collect $12,000. And we step by step by something, provide our soldiers with something. So I can say it's kind of immediate gratification for me, immediate result, but at the same time, we're working for the bigger goal. This project never ends, it has just some work stops, where we are happy, we are happy with what we've done. But then we give ourselves new goals. And we continue moving forward and forward. Of course, there are projects that will last for many years, rebuilding something renewing our architecture, maybe or just anything, any social project. But I see that the main point is we need to have a big goal and also break it down to smaller goals so we can satisfy ourselves and just not lose all the motivation that we have. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 9:21 Thank you. And speaking about Ukraine, and the situation there and all the help you're creating for it. Something that I'm thinking about with so many millions of Ukrainians, who have left Ukraine or in Europe, in the UK, in North America to since it was open for Ukrainian refugees. Do you feel and believe that when the situation is more stable in Ukraine, many of them will return or because they would have started new lives, new studies, new jobs. They will stay outside of Ukraine, which is not so good for rebuilding the country. Diana Shalashna 10:06 I have thought about this question for a long time. And I really truly believe that people will come back. Because we are fighting, so many of us are fighting just to come back to our homes. I think that of course, some people will stay. If they have found some places to study to work, they might stay. But personally, I, some time of my life wanted to move somewhere, maybe to Europe to study to work. But I have never wanted to stay in Ukraine more than during the war, I never wanted to leave. Unfortunately, I had to just for my own safety. But after everything ends, every person I know, want to come back, maybe one of them just wants to stay. But the statistics say that most of the people have families, male part of the family in Ukraine, they want to come back to home, of course to rebuild, even if everything is ruined. Still, it's our culture, it's our nation. We want to live in our home and not just use the priorities of being immigrants to other countries. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 11:18 Yes, I remember one of the people I spoke with who always wanted to live abroad and to start a life outside of Ukraine. She said before that I could choose to live outside Ukraine. But if I'm forced now to do so I refuse to leave. And I want to stay because I don't want to be forced outside of my country. And I felt that very, very much. Another thought. And some thinkers are saying that maybe the society in Ukraine will have a generational trauma where everybody was never ever be the same as before, where there'll be a lot more like mental health issues, even when the war ends, and that life will not be the same. Do you agree with this? Or do you believe that victory and defiance and everything will heal the Ukrainian trauma from this sudden invasion and war? And that actually, people will be even better afterwards? What are your thoughts, because some people will say, there'll be a lot more fear, a lot more PTSD, a lot more such things for this whole generation. Diana Shalashna 12:37 I believe that of course, there will be footprint for the people for the whole generation. And I think there will be the biggest footprint on people who actually were the victims of everything that happened, who saw people die, who saw buildings being destroyed, it's the worst thing for me, I really cannot imagine how they support themselves right now. But for the whole nation, even specifically for people who were able to get out who are able to live in a peaceful society right now. I think that we will have some time, we will not forget what happened, but we will restore our mental health. We will build up on what we have experienced. Learn from the experience, and we will just create some better, probably protection of ourselves. I can speak for myself from this point. When I was 13. When I was 12. Actually, my hometown Slavyansk was invaded. I wasn't there at the moment, really, luckily. But I was there in the summer of 2014. And I could see the military cars, I could see military people I could see really buildings destroyed, and I heard horrible stories. But I lived in the city for the next three years. And I can see that people, of course, didn't forget anything, but they lived happy, happy lives. They continued like business, studying and everything else. So I think that it will stay in our memories. Unfortunately, or fortunately for a future experience. But we will become stronger. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 14:29 Thank you, Diana, as well as how was this experience personally for you? Because I know for the longest time you decided to stay you wanted to be there. Did you go through different emotional phases? Do you feel at home now where you are outside of Ukraine or do you feel at home but still missed the country or do you feel that it's like a culture shock? How was your experience? Diana Shalashna 14:58 So for the first Last week, I was really shocked, I was scared, horrified with everything that's been happening. I was situated near KU, so not in the city. But in a small if we can say village, and when we were caught from bank cards, we couldn't pay with them cut from such basic food as like bread. And I don't know meat because people were shocked, scared, they bought everything to supply themselves. I was really scared how we're going to survive. I was scared seeing some missiles flying outside of my window really seeing this, it was horrible. Then I was shocked when we had the first air raid zero and I hide in the bathroom. I was with my grandma. And my grandma was really, I don't know how she did this. But she was really calm. So she could sleep next to a window and not do anything. But I was freaking out, running away, covering myself with everything. And maybe my grandma helped my mental health stay on a normal level, because she always told me that nothing will happen, just go to bed. Because otherwise I was going to spend the night just in the bathroom, or anywhere. I was really, I was horrified. But at the same time I celebrated every week victory of Ukrainian army every I don't know, destroyed airplane any small victory in small towns, I celebrated it to the fullest. And I think the first week was really a week when people believed strongly that everything will finish in the first three days, 10 days, we gave ourselves limits. But then it didn't happen. The water is continuing for the 42nd day. And we don't know when exactly it will finish. So the next step is just probably stable emotions. When we cannot say when it will finish, we still celebrate the victories. And we feel the grief for everything bad that's happening. I personally really feel upset when I see the stories from Bucha, from gusto mail from Mariupol. I can hear stories from my friends, I'm scared for my town, because again, it's in the east of Ukraine. But right now what I can do anything that depends on me, I can do it. And I try to help as much as I can. I cannot really go and do anything with the army, but I can supply our army with something. I cannot help homeless people and animals in Bucha, but I can maybe send some money. So I try to calm myself down with this. And trying to build a really strong community around myself. So we can continue this project and continue helping our country to fight at the same level as our country does. So right now my spirit is, I would say pretty energetic. Sometimes. I feel hate. But again, it gives me energy. So we continue working. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 18:28 Thank you. What kinds of projects are you involved with with currently in order to help the situation in Ukraine and other people? So maybe a listener could be involved as well. Diana Shalashna 18:41 Okay. So the projects I'm involved in right now are the fundraiser, flex alumni fundraiser, if to be sure that we are collecting money to help our army. Also, I'm doing free English lessons speaking clubs, for teenagers and for adults. These are group lessons that people join, that we can discuss something, practice English for free. It's really important to distract from the war topic because we cannot only focus on this even though it's surrounding us. We need to practice some more skills we need to continue studying. I think that education is really important at the moment. And we cannot just say no. Now we need to focus on work. Of course not. Also, we are continuing work with Flex alumni in other projects. I support different online events. I try to promote them so that more people find out about what is happening. We do a lot of donations to not only to the army but just to people in need. And I'm helping one of my volunteer friends who is helping also small kids. If So, interesting story helping small kids and underprivileged families to survive. I can't call it a project specific mind project, but it's also my involvement. So I tried to find fights in different fields, and do everything that I can. Of course, I cannot do every everything for Ukraine, but I tried to focus on smaller things and get small victories in each of these steps just to provide bigger success for all people who do at least something and don't just sit and watch, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 20:40 it seems to me, it's very important for you, like you said, in every sphere of life to not just sit and watch but to take action and to make a difference. Is this correct? Diana Shalashna 20:54 Yes, it's true. It's, it can be some kind of my fault personnel that I always try to do something, I can say it, or I blame myself for not doing anything. Many people call it some kind of maybe a psychological syndrome, I'm not sure. But for me, it's really vital to do something, it's vital, because this way, people don't have time to develop any kind of other psychological maybe problems or some kind of negative emotions. If you work. If you put your time and effort into something, you don't have time and energy for anything else. So this is what I'm doing just in order not to feel depressed, I'm working, I'm seeing the result. And it helps me not only just to see, to watch to do nothing, but also I can see that, yes, I'm doing something. Of course, in a global scale, maybe my actions are small, but for the community that I'm doing it for, they can see the result, they can maybe be grateful for what my team is doing. And for me, it's really important, Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 22:09 I'm happy is very important for you, and that you're keeping yourself sane and away from depression by making a real difference in this world. What is your expectation for the future of Ukraine? Do you expect this war to end or that Putin and Russia will keep on messing with Ukraine? Even if they left? Do you believe Ukraine will be a very prosperous country afterwards, and that it will be rebuilt? Even better than before? Do you believe that a lot of Ukrainians became like one of my guests said, in one second, 10 times more patriotic when the war started? What are your thoughts? Diana Shalashna 22:52 I actually have many scenarios for what can happen. They're all hypothetical. But based on some news, or articles that I have read, it's true that many Ukrainians became really patriotic, and I'm proud of that many people try to speak Ukrainian more, support local economy, and just do anything that they can even smaller actions matter, if we'll look at lifelong perspective. But what I think will happen, and I really hope is that the political regime of Putin will fail, I hope that the government will change drastically, because, of course, if only Putin goes away, but all of his government continues working, it's going to be the same thing. But we need them to change their government completely. And I hope that this way, maybe they stop, stop trying to invade Ukraine over and over because it's really annoying. But my biggest, maybe hope would be for Russia, just to fail as a country completely, maybe to break into pieces, you know, because if we look at Russia, it's it's a huge country with many, many nationalities, with many languages, with just many cultures, and I cannot understand how they coexist together. In fact, nobody can say if they really can coexist together, maybe they're just surviving, which I think as a matter of fact, that happened. And if we look in the Russian army, Putin is sending the army from Czech Republic from really, really, really eastern regions. And they are not and they are Russians that he is not sad to send he is just like, Okay, you can go because I didn't have any pity for you. It's also racism happening right now, because people are not valued in any point by the government. So I hope that just Russia will completely fail and break In two regions, and these regions will never unite and come for Ukraine again. I hope that Ukraine will rebuild itself with the help of our strong people. I know many people who want to who want to volunteer their time, their effort to rebuild everything with their own hands. And in fact, I'm really interested in this topic too. I would really like to rebuild with my own hands, even if I have no experience I can, I can study this subject. And with the help of other governments, European government, we can also do that. So my biggest hope is that Ukraine will prosper, become a country example for the whole world that we gave such such a strong fight for Russia, such a strong answer, and we didn't let happen, what Russia wants to happen. So basically, the best wishes are for Ukraine, and I will continue encouraging people to come back and to rebuild it to to build a great, great nation. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 26:12 Thank you. And for those people, like you mentioned, who want to volunteer or to help in different ways, how do you recommend they get involved? And those who might be depressed now from Ukraine because of the situation? What is your advice for them? Diana Shalashna 26:30 So my job is actually all the time getting people involved in some kind of projects that I have been doing for a long time. So I think that there is an organization in Ukraine, it's called boar, Budo, Mo, crane, Rasm, or building Ukraine together. And it's been functioning for a long time, actually, they are starting to call for volunteers and for architects to create projects. I think that many people of my acquaintances who are interested in creating architectural projects, how the buildings will look to actually go and build something, we'll do that. And my community, my main view followers, the people who maybe read what I'm writing, they're listening to what I have to say, I will also encourage them to join everyone. Even my European friends say that after all of this finishes, we will come and build it with you, because we are watching this horror happening. And we want to help you restore just like the other countries did, during after the Second World War. And for the people who are depressed and to feel like we're coming back to a ruin, and that we will not have anything. I want to say that it's not true. Because after the war happening in the east of Ukraine in Slavonski, it was ruined. There were again, a lot of buildings just crashed, but people rebuilt it and made even better city. So after we rebuild Ukraine, we will see even better results even bigger, or no cities, more beautiful, greener, more accessible for people. Slavyansk has became one of my favorite cities, honestly. So after we come back, we will create even better so everyone who is listening, please don't be depressed. We have trust in you and we will make it even better. Abdulaziz M Alhamdan 28:44 Thank you Dianna. It was a privilege and honor and a great time. And I wish you peace. And Slava Ukraini. Diana Shalashna 28:54 Thank you. Aziz. It was a privilege for me to be a guest. Heroyim Slava and everyone. Let's fight. Please don't give up.