Episode Transcript
Femininity is powerful in all its forms, exceptional women, rare girls must be appreciated in every
way for their perspectives, actions, thoughts, and their unique ways of being.
Rare girls are inspiring and this is what this podcast is all about.
Hello, my name is Aziz and my guest today is Diana Kryzhanowska.
Diana is an English and Polish philology student at National Pedagogical
Drahumanov University in Kiev, Ukraine. She loves singing, reading books,
watching series, drawing, and listening to music. She has taken part in various singing
contests and received a scholarship to study at her university. Diana, how are you today?
Oh, hi, I'm pretty good today, thank you. I'm happy you're here. I'm really excited
and curious about you. So I'll begin with this. Why philology? How did the idea come to be?
Or what is your story of loving languages? Oh, honestly, it's not my first major at the
university because my first step was IT sphere. When I entered school, I was going to pass the
exams. You know, after school we all, all the students, post-graduated after school, they
passed some exams. It's named ZNO. And I had my results. The math was the best and I decided to
go into a technological major and my parents agreed with that decision. They also gave me
advice that you should go to IT sphere and learn how to create, how to code, and so on about some
programs. I was there for one year. I was studying programming, coding, using my laptop. And then I
decided that it's not mine. I don't like that. And I decided to go into another university,
into another major and sphere. And I was thinking about what, what do I want to do? And I thought
about singing firstly and then languages because I think it's not so heavy for me to study in these
two spheres. I like them both, but singing maybe more. But my mom said that it's not a right
decision because if you are really talented, you don't need to go and study this. You will spend
your time and money and that's all. So they said, parents said that I need to go into languages.
And that was my decision, I think. Thank you. That's so interesting. And so to begin, even more
about the core of your personality. If your friends could describe your personality,
what would they say about you? Who is Diana? I can't say what would they say. Maybe I can only
imagine, but maybe they would say she's really kind and funny and pretty. And sometimes maybe
strange, unusual. She's really, she's really curious about everything because I am. They would say that
I love, I'm fond of food, I'm fond of singing. I'm very creative person and maybe that I'm
purposeful because I have my own purposes in life and I try to go into that way.
Thank you. And I had caught my attention that you said you are both strange and unusual.
What does that mean? And can you describe a bit more like what do you do that people can consider
strange and unusual? I can notice that only in my behavior when I am with my close friends or my
relatives. Maybe sometimes I can go into my head, go into my mind and don't care about everything
around me. Around me, maybe it's about people also. I can go for a walk and don't pay attention on
person for some time, maybe one minute or two and I can go into my mind and it's just I imagine
something or I just in my thoughts and I can't pay attention on environment around me. But I think
about something and when I start to talk again with person I am walking with and I realized that
I wasn't with her, with my friend. I was in my own and she says that what were you thinking about
because you weren't talking with me and I don't know. I understand that I was thinking about
something but I can't remember. And maybe like you know all people pay attention on some things,
some usual things like gossiping and other people, some material things. But I like to pay attention
on stars, on sky. I can see sky and if it's beautiful today I can go into this and just
it's just I'm looking at the sky at the sunset for one half an hour and my friend tells that
I'm really fond of sky if it's beautiful. And I can see for example in Kyiv we have many
squirrels in the park and I can go to this squirrel and I can spend time with it and don't
pay attention on person with which I'm walking into. Maybe that's like unusual for my friends
sometimes. That's really really interesting. And do you go inside your mind in the same way
when you're singing? Can you describe what do you love about singing and how is the experience
when doing that that makes you love it so much? I can say that singing is not my hobby. It's
something more because when I sing I feel special. I feel like I'm not like everyone
in this world. I feel like it gives me so much pleasure that I can imagine. I feel so much
energy when I sing at home. It can be at home only just at home but I feel so much energy
after this and I feel my moods had become better. Then I feel that I'm fulfilled. I fulfill my
space in me. Some space in me. Some empty space. And it's kind of like some
repression. I don't know how to say it but it gives me so much energy and a good
impression, good mood that I can share it with others. If I feel sad I can sing and I feel better.
If I feel angry I can sing loudly and I feel better. If I feel really good I can sing and I
feel even better. It gives me really much energy and pleasure. Thank you. That's really really
cool the way that a squirrel or singing or the sky can really give you great vibes and
improve your mood etc. Then I'll ask you, do you focus on hoping and trying to often have great
moods or do you often too want to watch a sad movie and cry or a murder documentary and feel scared?
Do you like to add also some negative emotions in your life so that you feel the positive stronger
or are you more about often positivity? No, I am positive person. I am kind of such person who
wants to feel good almost always because I don't like that state when you feel sad or angry.
It doesn't give me so good emotions but I fulfill myself with good emotions not bad
ones. But if I feel that mood, how to say it? I don't know. I like to play sometimes,
play with my condition, play with something, with someone and I can overplay my emotions.
So maybe I can feel sad a little bit but I overplay it and I can go into tears. I don't know but
I didn't want to cry but I can go into tears because I overplay and it is more than play
because I start to feel more sad but I wasn't sad so much. I don't know how to explain. I really
rarely feel myself sad or angry because I don't like those emotions. But if I overplay, I start,
I begin to feel myself worse than it was. But I feel pleasure after this so I don't know how to
explain it. Thank you. That's so interesting the way that you love to experience and put things to
more beyond their limits in order to discover more. Can you tell me about drawing? Do you tend to
draw skies and nature and squirrels or is it more about people and you try to focus on their
emotions or even for you, how does it feel inside when you're drawing? Is it similar to singing?
Is it similar to being lost in your mind and thoughts? Is it similar to overplaying
with emotions or how was the experience of a really enjoyable drawing? When I was more
younger than I am now, I used to draw my own paintings, my own pictures and it was not
something specific concretely. It was like what I want to draw. It could be some face of girl maybe
because I didn't draw any men in my life. So it was maybe face of girl but when I wasn't feeling
like I liked it, I threw it into a rubbish bin. Then I remembered that I drew some paintings of
trees. It gave me more pleasure I think and now I'm fond of more drawing coloring books.
You know coloring books by numbers or paintings by numbers or coloring books,
anti-stress books because when I'm bored I can go into this thing and I can keep myself busy.
If I want to feel spare time I can go into this and feel pleasure also.
So sometimes I feel that mood when I want to draw something on my own, on the empty paper,
on the white lists of paper but it's rarely, it's not often. Thank you and as someone who feels
emotions so deeply and is fascinated by nature and life, do you find it difficult to make decisions
quickly? Do you tend to hesitate about things often if even like an idea if some friends say
oh let's go to this place watch a movie or something you might think I don't know maybe
yes maybe no maybe yes like that or are you more that you make decisions quickly and it's not
something that has hesitation? Yeah I think I'm kind of person that can't make decisions quickly
uh I think it's my it depends on my character you know when I go into some shop where I need to buy
a shampoo for example I can't make decision about just that I think about what which one smells
better and it can take me for 10 minutes so what can I say about the other decisions it's really
hard for me. Thank you so even if you like something you tend to hesitate and find it difficult
where do you think it comes from like because usually if you like something it should be easy
but maybe you think well I don't know and maybe today is not the right day and maybe it's not the
right mood or something like that can you explain it more because someone could listen and they
don't really understand what that experience could be? It really depends on mood mostly
but if it depends on also about things which we are talking about if it's about walking for example
I'm always ready if it's not good weather or it's not so good day not pretty day or I have some deals
no I'm ready always I do my deals and go walk for a walk but if we say about some decisions like
uh living for example what do I want to do to live in that flat or to live in another one to live in
that area or to live in another one it's quite hard or when we say about decisions like what do
I want to cook it's always hard because I don't know what I what do I want or if I have for example
some holiday for example my birthday my relatives ask me what do I want to get and I don't know
because maybe I'm that person who is not sure about something it's really often and or I just
don't care about something so I can't make decision or I care more than enough I don't know
where it comes from maybe about my statement because my moods change really quickly so I can
feel that way and in one hour I can feel another way and I can't be sure about something where I
understand that my mood can change and I won't be able to do this anymore because I will want to do
something else. Thank you that's so interesting and it's important to to know part of your life
when it comes to the war because it's a big and really horrible event. How was February 24th for
you? How did you hear about the invasion? Did you believe it at first not believe it?
What happened? Can you tell me the story? Tell me the emotions and also many people many
Ukrainian girls left to other parts of Europe. What was your story and what was the decision?
I can remember that day perfectly. I woke up after calling from my mom she wasn't at home
it was half past six a.m and she said I got a call and she said get up we need to pack our documents
and the most necessary things and be ready to leave our home. I wasn't shocked but because
before this date it was on 16th of February and in the internet on the internet you know that
all people were talking about war and that it can start any minute anytime and we were
thinking like oh my god what a fulfill what a fullness because what war it can be war
or we are living in the 21st century and it can be war in our time. So I wasn't shocked because
we were like warned you know but I remember I was calm I was thinking about what should I do
firstly I was taking a shower because I didn't know where I will be able to do this the second
time for example where will I be so then I packed some things and documents and I waited my mom
she was at work she closed her shop and came home then we were buying some food and you
know it was like it was a really crowded street our main street in my little town where I live
in Donetsk region all the streets were crowded all the shops all the banks and I was trying to
give my money from the bank and because all money were in cards and we were thinking about that it
would be better to have our money in cash then we were buying some food and so on
after two weeks by the way we had no sirens in our town it was really strange because Donetsk region
it's really dangerous and we decided to go abroad with my cousin and my mom we went abroad
we went to Poland we were in Poland for one month our relative helped us with
a living place in Krakow we were in Krakow we were trying to find a job and we weren't lucky
because we didn't know polish and english wasn't enough so after one month we decided to go back
to our home to Ukraine it was a really hard decision because we didn't know where we will go
we decided to go to western Ukraine we were in a little village firstly in Zakarpattia
then we went to Uzhgorod with my mom and my boyfriend came there also my sister went with
her boyfriend to Lviv and we were there separately we were in Uzhgorod for two months and then my mom
decided to go back to Donetsk region to our home and me too we all went back to Donetsk region
to Dobropolje and my mom is still there and all my family by the way but i am in Kiev now with
my boyfriend because i decided that i have no something to do in that little town mostly
shops are closed and restaurants mostly are closed and so on i'm young and i'm ambitious
i have nothing to do in my town so i left my family and went to the capital of Ukraine
that's all history thank you so much Diana it sounds emotional it was i'm sure a really
traumatic and horrible experience and all i can say is Slava Ukrainyi thank you again
i wish you success in your studies i wish victory to Ukraine and i wish your ambitions
and purposeful dreams all to become real thank you
