Episode Transcript
Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is my superhero. That's
why it's important for me to support women, to share their uniqueness, their personalities,
perspectives and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history,
we need to bring the cultures of the world together. And when we listen to real people,
to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our humanity without our differences
or stereotypes and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's what
this podcast is all about. My guest today is Gabriela Bradu. Gabi is from a little village
in the Republic of Moldova called Ustia, studying in Kriulin. Gabi loves reading. It helps her
develop herself, recharge her batteries and learn about other people's experiences. Her
favorite book genres are psychological thriller, history fiction and nonfiction, self-help
books and romance novels. This spring in May, she will take the Cambridge English exam for
the level FSC or CC1. So she's preparing and studying hard for it. Gabi, how are you today?
Hello, I'm feeling fine. Thanks for asking. I'm honored. I'm privileged. I'm lucky to
include you in this project and I'm very curious about you. So I'll begin with this nice first
question. If your friends could describe your personality, what would they say about you?
First of all, I think that many of my friends and of the people that know me would describe
me as a positive person since I'm a person that's always keen into talking to people,
smiling and always embracing a good mood. And after that, I think that a quality that
may be very common for me is that most people may describe me as a nice person since I'm
caring and sometimes I may be a little bit too suffocating, but that's because I care.
I love that. And so I want to ask you a bit more about that last thing you mentioned that
you could be suffocating. Is it because you're a people pleaser? Do you tend to sometimes
even sacrifice your needs because you love to please people very much? Or is it in a
way that you love when people care a lot about you so you give them so that in return they
will treat you the same? Or is it your happiness that the happier you make other people is
translates into a happy feeling for you?
I do believe that in my case, the one that suits the most my condition is the second
and the third one, especially the second since I truly believe in the bond between giving
and taking relationships. So I'm trying to, let's say, follow this principle and always
do good in order to take it back. And yeah, I think the third principle suits me too since
I think seeing the people I love happy makes me happy.
Thank you. And the people you love in general, what characteristics are the most interesting
and important for you about them? Imagine you will go to university in a new city where
you don't know anyone or a new country and you meet new people. One, will it be easy
for you to make new friends? And second, what characteristics you will think, yes, this
is my kind of person.
I think I like to embrace myself with, first of all, kind people since I care a lot about
tolerance and I like seeing it too in other people. And as a second characteristic, I
think that I appreciate when a person is generally speaking very, very polite. I think that's
a way of showing respect towards you and it's just a nice thing to do or to say to make
the others around you feel comfortable. For instance, I don't like being around rude
people because they make me feel unimportant or somehow sad about myself and things like
that. So I think that it's important to be polite with others in order to not hurt other
people.
I agree 100%. Kindness and everything you mentioned are so important in life and they
feel absolutely wonderful to have such good and positive vibes. And to ask you about positivity,
are most girls your age positive? Do they have similar attitudes to you? Or how did
you discover that you wanted this mindset of positivity even when times are hard in
life?
Well, it was a time in my life when I used to be so, so shy and I wasn't totally capable
of expressing my emotions. Well, I have understood I like being surrounded by positive people.
In a period of my life, I've offered some new people for me and meeting these people
made me realize that I like this type of people and that I want to be one of them too. I've
met a friend that's currently one of my best friends that often likes and it's like part
of her personality to spread smiles, to smile, to show love for others, to always care. And
I've understood that I like this type of attachment to people. So I started using it too. And
one of the best advices that she gave me was always try to be the person that you like
and love to meet. So I've somehow started to be this type of person.
I love that. And I imagine it's a similar thing, that inspiration from people that happens
to you when you're reading books. Can you tell me the story of how you discovered your
love for reading and how do you learn from the characters or the books in order to develop
as a person?
First of all, I have to say that I love this question since I love talking about books
and the way they make me feel. I first started to read. No, actually I have been reading
all my life, but to be honest, until the age of 13 years old, my mom was always forcing
me to read. I didn't really like it at all. It was like a way of punishment for me to
read when I wouldn't do something or I wouldn't get a good grade. But this was actually the
way I was interpreting it because in fact, my mom was trying to make me realize how important
it is for me to read, not to punish me. But as a kid, this was the way I was thinking
about it. But then one day, I remember I was 14 years old when I first read a book. I can't
remember really the title, but I know it was something about women in general, how they
are strong. And it was a story, a women's story about her family stories, where she
has found out that in the same way, her mother, her grandmother, and she herself was treated
by the men they were loving. So this book was somehow inspiring for me and has made
me want to read more about this topic and in general to discover more stories like that.
So this is the first book that really got me into reading. But since that time, I wasn't
really a binge reader yet. I loved to read, but I wasn't doing it constantly. Then again,
what happened was that I remember I once secured another book. And this was my first, first
type of book I've ever read, which was a novel, a romance. It was a book by Paolo Feljo, I
think called Zaheer. And what I like about it was again the story, the plot. It was again
about cheating. And I liked it a lot. And after that biography, it was the second book
that really got me interested in this, in this type of stories. And that's how my stories
and that's how my reading journey has started. I was at that time, like I said, a binge reader,
but I love to read at that time too. So after a time, I've started going more to the library
to borrow books from my friends. And this is how it all started. Now I can say I read
a lot. Maybe I read, let's say per month, I may read three or four books if I do, if
I do have time. And that's how my journey started. Now I have more types of genre books
that I prefer. Not only the, let's say, romance novels and the autobiographs, but more types
but I really like trying. Thank you. That's so interesting. And since the first topic
that fascinated you was cheating, it seems in both books. I would like to ask you and
I know it's a topic that you study and you think about theoretically. There is this idea
that women like bad boys who are men who have some exciting characteristics, who add drama
to the relationship and cheat so that she's always having that new strong emotions while
a good guy who doesn't cheat and who's reliable is too boring. There isn't much excitement
and therefore women tend to choose the bad boy even though he will cheat and break their
heart compared to the nice guy because there isn't strong emotions and passion and it's
boring. Do you agree with this? Do you think this is true or based on your own theoretical
and novel research that, like you said, her whole family, all the men cheated? So maybe
it's more common or what's your perspective on that? In my mind, I think that most and
most part of women really do like and are more attractive to bad boys, which is a thing
that I don't get and I won't ever get because my perfect type of man is a calm one, a respectful
one, one who gives me attention and pays his care only for me. So I think that the thing
that most women find attractive about it isn't even the drama or the attention they give
or lose about this relationship. But I think that most women actually like being involved
in something that's entertaining for them or maybe, let's say, they are getting pretty
bored of boys who may give them all the time. Because from my experience, I do have female
friends that are most likely to fall in love with bad boys instead of good ones. And not
because they are more attracted to them, but because they think that it's more like somehow
more, it's like a kind of experience that you wouldn't get when you'd be older or something
like that. I personally consider that it's wrong, but I think that it's okay unless you
don't get hurt or if you only gain that experience after that relationship or take your lessons,
but not to get involved in it with your heart since you will eventually end up heartbroken.
Thank you. And I'll ask about another dimension. Do you think it's because they want something
that is entertaining or they have this deep desire to change the bad boy and make him
a good guy? And they think, oh my God, I can influence him. I can be the one who makes
everything different. First of all, I like this statement. And yeah, from a point of
view, I think that most women think they have that influential power to change a person.
But actually, I think that it depends so, so, so much about the boy we are talking about,
because they are boys who have fallen off and really are changed by some women. But
I think there are boys who just are playing around or not being serious about their intentions
towards women. I think that if a man is truly interested about a woman, he will change his
behavior and he will become better for her. But these are most likely so, so, so rare
situations to happen. And most of the time, I think the women actually are such this type
of entertainment or these types of boys that are not boring, let's say so, but not really
thinking about changing them.
Thank you. That's a very fascinating topic. And when it comes to those bad boys or whatever
that you think women who want to be entertained are fascinated by, is it because they have
chemistry when they speak to that boy and they feel, oh my God, it's electric in his
presence like in the romance novels that you read? Or is it that he admires his courage
to say no, to do what he wants and not follow society? Or is it that he's a handsome guy
and because he's handsome, people allow him to be a bad boy and therefore he becomes like
spoiled a little bit and therefore a bad boy? Or how do you think it happens?
I actually wanted to mention this, but I think that the books have a big influential in this
type of relationships because most women are most of the time confusing the reality with
the fictional stories or the fictional life, let's say so. And I think most of the time
there are women who really think that this would be nice or it would be great or something
like that to be involved somehow in this type of experience because they have seen it. And
in a way, these romance stories they have read or they have seen at other people are
in a subtle way becoming their, let's say so, the standard for them. But it depends.
I actually believe it depends from a woman to another woman because there are women who
are influential by books, by people, by stories and by different interviews and other things.
But there are women who actually, yeah, they are very impressed by their attitude, like
the way they say no, or that they follow their own rules and they are somehow impressed
by it.
Thank you. And in Moldova, do you feel this is more common there because girls, maybe
if they live in a village or something, they're more bored and they want to be entertained
or because of the culture is more traditional. Most girls know they're more with good guys.
But if you go someplace like New York or California where the girl can be with a bad boy and be
proud without any shame, it will be more common there. So is it that in Moldova, for example,
if a girl is bored, it will be more likely that she will be fascinated by bad boys or
she needs to live in a free place where she can do it without anybody judging her. And
so it becomes more common there.
No, actually, I don't reckon that it is characteristic for a girl from our country to get to be more
interested to know or to get into a relationship with a guy because she's bored or because
she wants the type of excitement she's reading about or seeing about. But I think that most
likely it happens that when people start dating in our country and in general at a young age,
they don't really yet have any principles and don't know what values they want from
a person that will be around them for a long time or for a long or for a lifetime.
So I think that then they get into these types of relationships isn't because they really
want that type of attitude towards them or towards their time, but it's because they
don't really know what they want since they're too young to comprehend it.
Thank you. And you're young as well. So how come you know and you feel you know what you
want while they don't so much? What was different about your life or experience that allowed
you to not be the same and have the same attitude?
That's a tough question, but I think it's a good one. First of all, I have to mention
that I have never been into a relationship really, but I have experienced being in love
and trying to approach some people or being in touch with some people or I was in that
state of, let's say, not a relationship, but an approaching between a guy and a girl.
We were like in that talking stage and I could have talked to some different type of guys
from the good to the bad one and I could have gained that experience and learned for myself
which things I like in a boy and which things I don't like in a boy. But the difference
that makes between me and other girls, I think, from my own opinion, not as a way to judge
other persons, is that when I was in a kind of experience that kind of hurt me or was
making me sad or was in general making me feel somehow unimportant or, let's say, more
likely to make me suffer, I was analysing and trying to get the point that made me feel
like that and then I understood, but I don't like when a man does this, this, this, this
or that and I somehow detemped my own type of voice and I learned to somehow not look
and not search a person by his appearance, by his looks or by his two or three qualities,
but by analysing his character, his behaviour, his personality more than what he says or
what he does or what he looks like because that's an important thing, I think, I believe.
Thank you so much and nowadays you are looking forward to study English, to get your exam
and in the future to study at a cold university. What would be your dream education? Where
would you love to study? Would it be like romance novel literature as a topic in English
or would you study like dream to study in Italy because it's very romantic or what
would be that desire? I bet I wouldn't choose my career by romance
novel or by romantic city inspired by the books for sure because that won't decide
and make my brother money, but if I speak about career and stuff like this, I am still
analysing the options and ideas and the desires I want to follow when I finish the license,
but ahead of all, I think that the main idea and for now until this year the main career
I'm looking forward to follow when I finish the school, it will be medicine and I hope
this desire won't change because to be honest, I'm so scared and I don't know if I'm making
the right choice, but I think that trying it won't make a big deal because I will try
and see what happens, but I'm really, really, really interested into medicine, into biology,
science and things like this and I'm looking forward to try it, so I hope it turns out
well, but I won't get too heartbroken after it and as a result, I hope that I will get
proud of myself, but I've done it. Thank you so much, Gabi. This was my privilege,
my honour, such a wonderful conversation, sharing your perspectives and views and I
wish you success. I wish you never to have your heart broken unless you desire to like
watching a sad movie and I wish you wonderful readings and thank you for participating.
Thank you so much for me talking to you and I actually felt so good while talking to you.
It was a nice experience and I had the opportunity to train my English even though maybe I haven't
sounded very good in all the stages, but I think and I hope that our conversation has
made you laugh like it has made me laugh about the little jokes about dating and novels and
I hope you have a great time and thanks a lot for giving me this opportunity to experience
this type of conversation. I'm so grateful for it.
