E289 Mariam Waseem

Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She is really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions about this world. In these difficult times in human history, we need to bring the people of the world together. And when we hear the voices of women, when we listen to real lives of women from other countries, we connect our cultures without differences or stereotypes, and we get inspired by their stories to live a better life. That's what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Maryam Waseem. Maryam is the first girl from Pakistan in this podcast. Maryam is a management information system bachelor in Ishaq University, Istanbul, Turkey, and the president of Ishaq University International Students Club. As one of the first few Pakistani women pursuing a career in tech, Maryam is excited to represent and inspire other women to enter this field. Her passion for technology fuels her drive to excel and make a positive impact in the industry while also challenging gender norms and stereotypes. Living and studying in Istanbul, Turkey has broadened her horizons and diversified her interests, providing her with exposure to a rich and vibrant culture that has influenced her many, many ways. Mariam has expanded her world view, enriched her experiences, and gained a unique perspective that she brings to her creative, personal, and professional pursuits. She has a wide range of hobbies and interests that keep her engaged and motivated. Photography is one of her passions, and she has been pursuing it for quite some time now. She has worked on several product photography projects as well as people photography and she finds it to be a very fulfilling creative outlet. In addition to her photography work, she has also had the opportunity to work for an online Singapore-based magazine where she created content and produced videos sharing her tips on academic excellence and fashion. This experience not only allowed her to share her expertise with a wider audience but also provided her with the opportunity to sharpen her skills and in videography. Apart from her photography work, Mariam also runs a card game business which has been a fun and exciting venture for her. She is always on the lookout for new opportunities and ways to grow her business and she enjoys the challenge of managing and promoting it. As a social person, she values diversity and has been fortunate to lead the International Students Club at her university as their president. It enabled her to organize events and engage with individuals from various backgrounds and cultures. She further honed her public speaking and research skills through her participation and model United Nations MUN, enabling her to excel academically and professionally. And as a woman in tech, she has experienced a unique perspective that comes with its own set of challenges. Nonetheless, overcoming these challenges has been incredibly empowering. She's deeply invested in the world of technology and finds immense joy and satisfaction in working on projects and staying up to date with the latest developments in the field, this passion fuels her drive to succeed and inspires her to explore new horizons in the future. Marian, how are you today? Hello, thank you for the introduction. I'm good. How are you? I feel happy. I feel very, very blessed and very curious about you as a person. So I'll begin with this nice first question. If your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? I think my friends would say that I'm someone who's very outgoing, very curious about the world, very jolly, and very positive. They would say I'm someone who would always encourage them to explore new places, meet new people, just always on my toes, always want to go somewhere, always want to do more things, explore. I have a very curious mind, so I always want to learn more about things and places and people. Curiosity, I love that. And also I remember that psychologically, curiosity is one of the keys that lets you overcome any fears because someone curious cannot be afraid at the same time. Is this like your big secret to finding your confidence and your power as a woman, how do you deal with any anxieties and fears that can keep you not on your toes and not up for new things? Let me know a bit more about that. Yes, I definitely think that when you learn about new things and you explore more places and you learn about different people and their culture, you do gain a certain type of confidence that you feel, okay, you know, I know these things. I have this knowledge. I feel like knowledge is something very, very powerful. And in this generation, in these days, it's something very easy to obtain as well. So might as well educate yourself every day with the little things and it just really shapes up your personality. So I would say, yes, knowledge is a big contributing factor into gaining confidence and just developing your self-character. Thank you. That's absolutely interesting. And I'm curious about you as a woman from Pakistan. How can you describe your culture, your personality, who you are as a Pakistani woman? You're one of the very first few who are delving in the tech field. Is it encouraged? Are there stereotypes in Pakistan that you're breaking? Just share more for people who might not really know the 2023 situation of being a woman growing up in Pakistan with its, of course, beautiful people and everything. Yes, definitely. So back in Pakistan, it's very much encouraged to educate yourself. And everyone over there is very hardworking. However, there is this certain type of stereotypes when it comes to women in tech. For example, when I was in grade nine, I knew that I wanted to pursue a career in technology. It was my passion and I was so adamant about it. But at the same time in my class, back in middle school, I was the only girl amongst boys in my computer class. So that was a bit discouraging because, you know, at that young age, you have this peer pressure and you just like all of my female friends were just like not taking this course. And I was like, no, you know, this is where I draw the line. I make a decision for myself and I have to pursue it. even though this path was different for me, because in Pakistan, a lot of females are not into technology. They're not encouraged that much. So at that time, I was like, no, okay, I need to break the stereotype and I need to follow this path and I need to set an example. So moving forward in high school in Pakistan, again, the similar situation came. I was one of the only two girls in my class full of boys. And I was like, you know what, I'm glad I am because I'm going to set an example and I'm going to tell women that it's okay to be a girl in tech. It's okay. It's something actually very, very good because personally speaking, I feel like technology is the future. And Pakistan has a lot of very, very hardworking, very intelligent, very strong woman who just need an opportunity. And I know they would succeed a lot because of the hard work they put in. So I feel like it's very important to encourage women in Pakistan and all over the world, to be honest, to just engage themselves in the technical field and just really work hard and pursue a career in it because it's something very, very important. And as the world is moving forward, literally every single degree, be it fashion, be it healthcare, anything, everything requires knowledge in tech. And if you have that knowledge in tech, and if you know, know things about it, you just have an edge. So why not? And something that's really nice about this field is also that it's very easy. Like you have a lot of opportunities to learn because you can just take a lot of online courses and you can just learn about tech stuff. So it's really nice. So I feel like, yeah, there were stereotypes where, you know, oh, if you're a girl, maybe girls don't, you know, come in technology that much, but why not? I feel like, you know, the first person who created the Wi-Fi was also a woman. So why can't a girl do those things? I feel like girls have a lot of intelligence and they're very strong. And I feel like they can do anything that they set their minds to. So that's why it was a challenging experience back then, but right now, currently I'm in Turkey and I'm so proud of myself. I'm so happy that I chose this path because I see a very beautiful bright future and I want a lot of other girls to get the same opportunity as well. I agree 100% this project and podcast is about empowering women to go for their potential and all their dreams, no matter what people might say. And then to ask you even more, what fascinates you about the field of technology that makes you really interested to put time and effort into it because it's not easy, of course. Like, oh, yes, everything is dependent on it, but is there something about it like that satisfies your curiosity? Is it like a puzzle game to you? Are you challenging yourself and noticing your growth every day? Is it another thing you're just in love with it for other reasons? Can you share some more? Yes, definitely. So basically I feel like everything takes time. Even passions take time. So when I was in grade nine, as I told you, I was very, very interested in technology. I would literally come home after school and I would watch interviews of Steve Jobs and what, like, just learning more about the tech field and just like, that's something I worked on. So I worked on my passion, I worked on my thoughts and I molded them into a way where I would be very, very in love with the tech field because I just think that something so interesting and something so new and every other day you hear about something new, some new technology coming up. And personally speaking, there is this thing called virtual reality and augmented reality. And this is a very specific field that I'm madly in love with, I would say, because when you're, for example, when you're playing a game in VR and you're just in a different world at that time, at that time, you're just, you just forget about everything and just in a different zone and you're just having fun and you're just playing it. And I feel like it's something so nice. So yeah, I feel like my passion stems from the fact that this is what I feed into my brain every day. So whatever you feed your brain, whatever you think about yourself, that's what you're going to pursue. That's what's going to happen. It's like the law of attraction. Like if you think positive things, you're going to reap positive awards. So, yeah, one more thing that I used to do, and I still do actually, is whenever I wake up, the first thing that I do is that I go up to the information and technology section of BBC app and I read what's up and what's new. And it helps me. It really does help me throughout the day because the first thing that I think about is, oh, this is something new that's happening. Then I gain knowledge. And then I use that knowledge during my day, whether I'm having conversation with friends or I'm in my class, it's something very fascinating, something very new and you're up to date. And it's very good for your mental health as well. Because when you're just thinking about these things, you're not thinking about insecurities, you're not thinking about drama, you're not engaging yourself in some worldly petty things. No, you're just thinking about something very interesting and you're just indulging yourself in that. And I think it's so beautiful. And I feel like it's very good for your mental health as well to just really be passionate about some things, learn about it. It's a different world. It's different. And I feel like it's so nice. I agree 100%. And I noticed too that you mentioned whenever there is something new, you'll discuss it with your colleagues. Well, you're a woman in a field that is difficult. It requires a lot of focus and a lot of time, yet you are also a socially open person and a social butterfly. How do you balance things? How do you spend enough time so that you take care of your grades yet leave enough room in your week or however in order to not lose that human connection and bonding with people that you love, that you like to spend time with your new friends there? That's a very interesting question. Basically, what I do in order to have a balance in my life is that every night before going to sleep, I have a diary in which I write all of my tasks that I have to do the next day, all of my tasks that I have to achieve. So I just write everything down. With a pen and paper, I just sit and I write every single detail that I have to get done. And then the next day, I just go through that list and I just check off everything like a checklist, but you need to be very motivated to follow it and use it every day. Another thing that I do in order to balance it is when I'm studying, I give myself quality time to study. For example, if I'm like, okay, final exams are coming up or just normal classes are going on and I need to study a particular thing, I would leave all my distractions away and I would just take out those three to four hours or it doesn't matter because when you're studying, it does not matter how much you're studying, it's what matters is the quality of your study. So quality over quantity, always. And I would always give myself that quality time to study. And when I'm done doing that, I socialize with my friends, I take care of myself, I talk to my family. So this is how you balance yourself. But also I always make sure that I don't pressurize myself, that I don't overburden myself with things. So I to take care of my for example a big exam coming up or a project coming up I try to take care of it step by step every day little bits by bits instead of you know leaving it up to the last minute and doing it all in the end so I really try my best to just organize a lot because I feel like when you're organized you succeed. One hundred percent and now you said that you're in Turkey you're very very happy of course how would you compare life and the culture between Pakistan and Turkey, was there some small similarities and small differences, culture shocks, big similarities that you noticed? How did you go about adapting to a new country and how would you recommend the same process for any girls who might be getting ready to go to university or a new life or a new job in a new city or a new country? So I moved to Turkey back in 2019 and I was just 19 years old back then. There is a lot of difference between Turkey and Pakistan. First, the biggest difference is the language. So Turkish language is not spoken in Pakistan, of course. So it's very different. And everywhere in Turkey, they speak in Turkish and English, of course, as well, but mainly Turkish. And then their culture is very different and everything is very different. So the way to go about it is to embrace change. So if you see something different, learn from it. Just first of all, you need to take time to observe everything. So when I came to Turkey for the first two to three months, I would just simply go out and observe everything. I would see, okay, this is happening. This is how it's happening. This is why it's happening. I would just have those little questions in my mind, and I would just be observing everything. And then when you're done observing, that's when you start adapting it. You start living the way you should in a different country, like their norms and just how it's encouraged over there. So yeah, the culture is very different, but you need to adapt to it and you need to just tell yourself that it's okay. It's okay if it's different. It's okay if it's change, if it's okay if it's out of your comfort zone. It's all good. It's all part of an experience and it will just be very for my character development. Also, I would like to share one more thing. Basically, the way you view life is also very important. Personally, I feel like you are the main character of your own life movie. When you treat yourself like, oh, I'm the main character and my life is my movie, naturally you do everything that you would want in order to have a beautiful life You would, you know, just you would want to try new things, you would want to talk to new people, you would want to be positive, you would want to take risks. So if you are, for example, in your own life movie and you have the opportunity to go abroad and to see the life there, you would be very happy and you would just embrace it and just step out of your comfort zone because no one wants to be, you know, old and just thinking, Oh, I wish I would have done those things. And that's my biggest fear, honestly. Like I don't want to be around 18, 90 years old and thinking, Oh, I wish I had done this. No, I'm going to take opportunities. I'm going to take risks and I just want to live to the fullest. But one more thing, when you're thinking that, Oh, I'm the main character of your own life, you also have to understand that the other people around you are the main characters of their lives. So how you treat them also matters. So for example, if my friend XYZ is the main character of her life and I'm talking to her, I'm a side character in her life. And if I'm a side character, it's up to me, do I want to be a nice side character or do I want to be a villain? So when you really think about life this deeply and just you're like, okay, you know, you start treating people nicely, you start being more humble. And I feel like when you're positive and when you treat people nicely, it just helps you adapt. So this is how I'm linking it to the answer. it helps you adapt. So being nice, I clearly remember when I came to Turkey, I did not know how to speak Turkish. And there were a lot of instances where people would just be talking to me in Turkish, and I would just smile at them. And then they would just smile back at me, and it would just be a very beautiful, happy conversation, even though we could not understand each other. But it's okay. You're embracing change, and they're happy that you're here. Just live life. Find happy moments from the weirdest things, happy moments from the unexpected things. That's how I think about it. So if you're moving to a different place, just be positive, observe, and just be nice to people, and eventually it will get back to you. Very, very, very true. I really, really, really support your perspective and the way you go about living without regrets. And I understand you're a businesswoman, you have your own business. Can you share two things related to that? One, many women could be interested in becoming business women, but they're waiting and looking for the right idea. How did you find that idea you have? What's your advice about that? And what is the reality and life of being a businesswoman? Okay, so basically, my business started with me and my friend during COVID times. So we were at home and we were like, okay, you know, we want to do something productive and we want to create something new and just something very creative. So we decided to come up with the game called Taboo, and we decided to come up with the Pakistani version of that game. So it was something very new. It's something that had not been introduced in Pakistan. And we were just really, we were like, okay, we worked really hard on it and we created all the cards and everything was customized based. It was really showing the culture, the beautiful culture of Pakistan. It was really nice. And we were like, okay, now we want to sell it. So then me and my best friend, we both started selling the cards and it was a big hit. A lot of people bought from us. It was really nice. So what we did was we took a chance, like, okay, it was a new idea, it had not been done before. We did not know if it was going to succeed or not, but we still took the chance because why not? You just, sometimes it was very unexpected, honestly, because when we were starting the game, we were starting the business, we were like, okay, you know, let's just do it for fun. We didn't know what's going to happen. We were like, okay, we'll just do it. What's the worst that could happen? People won't buy, but that's the worst thing that could happen. It won't be the end of the world. So might as well go with it. And surprisingly, it was a big hit and it was really nice. So when you're starting a new business or an idea comes to your mind, just think to yourself, okay, what's the worst that could happen? It doesn't all work out? Okay, no problem. You can get up and start again. My father always told me that your last mistake is your best teacher. So you learn from your mistakes. And when you learn from your mistakes, you just become a better person. And that's what life is all about, becoming a better person for yourself, learning continuously, because I feel like you never stop learning. Even if you're at the age of 75, you would still learn something new. So just embrace learning things. And it's OK to make mistakes. It's OK to be scared. It's OK to be nervous, because in the end of the day, we are all human and we should just be nice to ourselves and take chances and just just, you know, believe in ourselves. I love that point. You said it so beautifully and I want you to even expand on it. Let's say there are women who are listening to you, who don't believe in themselves, maybe they compare themselves because of social media to people who have ideal lives, bodies that seem fake, photoshopped, whatever it is, and they worry about the judgment of their parents and their society. What's your advice so that similar to you, they can say no and do what they believe in, no matter what people might think or even how to find their self-esteem in a time that is trying to destroy it. Okay, so I think the sentence that what will people think? This is a universal problem that literally every other girl is going through, be it if that girl is living in Turkey or if that girl is living in Pakistan or in America does not matter. I feel like it's a universal problem that all of us are facing because of social media. What will people think. And I feel like this is the way to approach it. For example, if you're thinking, okay, for example, I'm going to buy this yellow dress and I'm going to wear it. What will people think about me? Will they like it? Who are these people? You need to ask yourself, okay, who are these people? Are these people your family? No. Are these people your friends? No. Because when you're thinking, oh, what will people think, you're thinking about this imaginary audience in your mind. Like, oh, what will people think? I can't start this business. what will people think? It does not matter if those people are positive with you, they're your true friends, they're good to you, they would support you no matter what. And do you really want to invest your precious time? We're here in this world for what? In this current world for like 80, 90 years maximum, and then we die. So I feel like 80, 90 years is a very short time. So might as well spend it enjoying your life because you're 80 years old, I feel like this is the key. Just imagine yourself as an 80 year old person and thinking, oh, I should have done this. And at that time when you're 80 years old, you won't even remember who those people were because people come and go. So I would say, okay, I know Instagram and social media can be very toxic and it could make you compare your life and compare everything. I know it's very hard, but you just need to believe in said before, you are the main character of your own movie. So yeah, okay, someone else's movie has this particular element, but your life has your own particular element. So you need to be more grateful for what you have and stop caring about what will people think because 90% of those times the people are just an imaginary audience in our head and we need to ignore it. We need to believe in ourselves and we need to just be very happy with the people who are positive us. So I think that's the way to go about it. Thank you so much, Maryam. It was my privilege and my honor to have you here to share your voice and your story and your inspiration for all other women. I wish you all the success, all the glory, and you are representing the Pakistani women in tech very, very well. Thank you for participating. Thank you so much for this opportunity. It was an absolute honor to be here and I hope we continue to empower women every day and I'm so excited to see other women shine and just be happy.