E292 Larissa Racheal Dsouza

Hello, my name is Aziz and I'm the son of a divorced mother. She's really my superhero. That's why it's important for me to support women to share their uniqueness, their personalities, perspectives, and emotions. Too many women in this world feel alone. They worry about the judgment of others, and they struggle with their mental health. But when they listen to the Rare Girls podcast, where empowered women share their voices and tell their stories, many women will feel inspired to live a life of freedom and to overcome all their insecurities. They will feel supported to find their confidence, to remember their unique beauty, and to feel their self-worth. And they will feel connected to a sisterhood of rare girls who encourage their success and support their dreams. This is what this podcast is all about. My guest today is Larissa Rachel D'Souza. Larissa is an explorer of life and a model born in India and raised in Dubai, UAE. She is Miss Global India representative in 2022 and runner-up of International Top Model 2021. Larissa loves arts, long-distance running, painting, and dancing, as a result of her subjected to verbal abuse and bullying in the classroom. Her school years were particularly trying, but she went on a journey of self-improvement which allowed her to emerge stronger and more powerful after such difficult experiences. As a woman in a patriarchal society in India, she aims to eliminate the social stigma associated with being a woman by encouraging female education for impoverished children through a crowd-sourcing project called Ave Marie Project. Larissa, how are you today? Hi Aziz, I'm doing great, how are you doing? I feel blessed. I feel very, very happy and excited to know more about you as a person and as a woman. So, I'll begin with this nice first question, which is, Larissa, if your friends and the people who know you best could describe your personality, what would they say about you? So, if my friends would have to describe me, I think they would say I'm cheerful, I'm motivated, I'm hard-working, I am a model, and I love to be on the runway, and I feel like I'm somebody who is very empathetic. So if my friends have any problems, they will, you know, they will come to me, they will pour out their emotions and their worries to me. And I feel like I'm a good listener, even though I'm talkative sometimes. And I love talking to the people who are very close to me. So I think this is a short, you know, short thing they would say about me. Thank you. And I noticed you said you love to be a and on the runway? Yes. Can you describe that experience and what fascinates you and interests you most about it? Okay, so I personally have been seeing, you know, India's Next Top Model as a kid, you know, on on the TV. I kept on like playing this and watching, you know, India's Next Top Model. So it's been something that I have always dreamed of and it was a dream that I thought maybe I would not be able to do, because I was a bachelor's of marketing degree student. And then, you know, the background we come into is very like a conservational community, which they don't think that modeling is, you know, a right career and they don't think that people, like girls should pursue that. So I'm so glad I was able to surpass all these hindrances and I'm able to become a model now and I can call myself a model. And you asked me, how do I feel when I'm modeling, when I'm runway modeling? Honestly, it feels amazing. The whole procedure of like, you know, the whole process of getting your hair and makeup done. And then, you know, the designer selecting you for a certain dress. So they believe that you can walk in the dress and can do justice to make that dress alive and be on the runway and all the, like all the people in the audience is looking at you, is looking at the dress. I just feel that that part of that part of the runway where I'm in the head ramp and I'm posing, it just feels so amazing. Like I can't explain it, but it just feels extraordinary. And I love doing that. So, yeah, that's really, really inspirational. And to ask you even more, you spoke about breaking stereotypes related to being a model and that it can be a proper career. And I know you care a lot about overcoming a lot of limitations from the patriarchy in India. What are some things you believe should be progressed on when it comes to Indian women? And why did you choose to combat them using education specifically rather than any other possible way? So I believe education gives you the knowledge to do more. And I feel like in India, many of the women are not able to get educated and that actually acts as an hindrance when they try to pursue their dreams and goals. And I feel personally for me, my parents really worked hard for me to give me an education, to give me a platform, to voice out my opinion, to have a voice for myself. I feel like part of education can help girls to spread their voice because I feel like in today's day and age, if somebody is talking and they don't have a designation next to them and they don't have a degree next to them, they are not heard that much compared to somebody of the same age, the same ethnicity, but who has a degree, who has a designation or occupation next to their they are given more worth and more value. Like this is what I've seen. So I feel like I believe that, you know, education is the way to go. And at least, you know, having a basic education is a right of every woman and man in India. So I feel that is something I would like to change. And yeah, you mentioned about the patriarchal society in India. It is because like, you know, throughout, Like, at least in the olden ages, we were meant to be, you know, supportive of our husbands, of our dads, and like, we wouldn't encourage the girls to do studying after 10th grade. And then the boy is allowed to have an education for college and stuff, which is not fair. Why is a son treated differently than a daughter? So that isn't fair. Like I felt that was not fair and like both the son and the daughter should get the education they deserve and they want. And then they get to choose their career path and then they get to choose when they get married. And then we don't have to force the societal norms that no, the girl should get married by the age of 20 or even earlier. And I think the society is changing nowadays and now women are actually the forefront of many industries and I'm so proud of that. And yeah, this is why I feel like I want to be the voice of the voiceless. So yeah, that is the whole mission and the whole purpose I want to move forward with. Thank you. That's such a great, great mission. And I know you take care also of yourself and that you are connected to this mission in a very direct way as a woman and as someone who grew up in Dubai but also with Indian roots that you're connected to, you love long-distance running. How did you discover that passion in Dubai? Because I don't believe the weather is really conducive to long-distance running. So okay, I'll tell you the story where my passion came into sports and athletics. So basically my mom herself, She is into sports and she used to do 200 meters running in India and she's to be a part of a lot of sports meets and stuff. And I feel like that's probably it. Like, you know, hearing all this from my dad, saying that my mom is into sports and she was, she got these many medals and she got these many certificates. I think it was always like it always intrigued me and like in fifth grade, I remember they had taken all the 2000 born girls outside because we were very few. And I was mostly with, like, basically they enrolled me earlier. So I was with all all the students who were older than me. So, yeah, I was one of the few people who are 2000 bonds and they've taken us to, you know, have a competition because they wanted us to be in intercompetition, interschool competition. And that is where I discovered I love running. I really enjoyed, you know, being in the field and, you know, chasing, like, you know, and it's like a competitive thing, right? And I think I've, throughout my athletic journey, I feel like I was very competitive in nature. And also like, you know, if the PT teacher, like the PE teacher, she used to scold us and she wanted to give us some punishment, what she would do is run five rounds of the ground. And honestly, I didn't think that was punishment. I was like, oh, wow, you know, I'm getting to run and I'm gonna get excuse from what they're doing. Oh, that's cool. Let me do it. And I used to run five rounds of this. And I realized over time, I had really good stamina and none of the other girls wanted to do like three kilometers or 1500 kilometers and actually not even 800 meters. So most of the girls in my school, they were really good in speed. So they used to really thrive in 100 and 200 meters speed race. But when it came to 400 and 800, the number of students always decreased. So I thought, okay, this is where I can stand out. Maybe I'm not the best at speed, but my stamina is good. So then I used to take part in, you know, like longer distance, like 800, 1500. And then actually at the age of 13, I went for the Clusters meet. So Clusters is basically held in the UAE and the people who, the students who win the first and second round, sorry, first and second place, get a chance to go to India and compete. That was the thing. And I was competing. I was competing under 19 and I was a 13 year old and I was running three kilometers. So basically seeing all the other girls have, you know, their speed, like they had amazing speed, but my stamina was better. So I always went for 800 meters and 1500 and 3000. And when I saw this opportunity for under 19 category in clusters, I went for it because there was no under 16 or under 15 category for 3,000 meters for girls, which I don't know why, but there was only under 19. And then I was competing with girls who were 18, 17, 16. And I was the only, like I was the youngest girl there and I had no like professional training. We used to just have where we used to do some amount of exercises and stuff, but not proper training for the 3K. And I ran my first 3K in that competition and I came third place. So yeah, I just realized since then that I love doing what I do. And it was very tiring for me to run the 3K when I was just 13 years old, but I still got it like in 20 minutes, I did 3K and I felt like I needed to get coaching but I was allowed to do coaching only for two months in the summer break because I was not the brightest student so I had to concentrate on my studies the year around so only the summer break I got two months training professional training and that improved my timing three minutes so like I had a three minute reduction in my time so I was I finished my second time when I competed in clusters I finished in 17 minutes a 3k so that was amazing and that's where the love for long-distance running started and yeah. And then I used to see the boys, they had the option for three kilometers and five kilometers, but girls didn't have an option for five kilometers, which I found very unfair. I was like, why? Why can't girls run 5K? So yeah, that's where it started. Thank you. And you spoke about your teachers, classmates, et cetera. I know that you struggled with bullying, with verbal abuse. Can you share two things related to that? What was the story of that? And what's your advice to any girls or anybody who is struggling with bullying or still remembers those bullying situations and it messes with their mental health? So for instance, I will share some of my experience. It was not just one place because I had shifted schools. So initially I was in Abu Dhabi and then I shifted to India. then I did my first and second grade in India and when I had gone there I didn't really have friends right because I'm new to the school and stuff so there was a bunch of girls I used to sit in the back bench and there was a bunch of group of four and they were really good friends okay and then I used to talk to them and then they used to make fun of me behind my back and there was this leader of the group I wouldn't name her but I still remember face and her name, because it's that scarring. And she used to literally mock me, say names or like, you know, like spread rumors about me, or just say something or the other. And it really troubled me to a point that I had to tell my mom that there's this girl in the school who's doing this and who's, you know, troubling me and stuff. My mom called her mom. And she literally said, that's, that's not me. So basically, there were two girls with the same name in that class. So she's like, No, that's not me. It's the other girl. And it was her. And I just remember that the whole that whole friend circle was so united that I felt so I felt so left out. And yeah, these cities me even my teachers, you know, like, I feel like students who don't really do exceptionally well, there's a crazy like crazy partiality that the teachers do, which is not fair. I feel like even the students who are not the brightest in class should be supported, should be spoken to sweetly, should be encouraged rather than just, you know, putting them down or making them feel like they're less worth. Like till now I feel like, you know, teachers should change that thing. I know they have a lot of pressure because they have 30 students 40 students under them. But if you're literally showing partiality to the teacher's pet is what we call and showing that the ones who didn't get the best grades like they are unworthy or like they can't achieve anything, it sucks to be honest. So I feel like teachers should treat all the students at least somewhat equally. And the teachers should take action against these bullies and, you know, they should speak up and say, this is not right, this is not, and there should be classes on, you know, bullying and peer pressure. And these things are not taught to the young, you know, the youngsters, and then the teachers also unaware of what's happening to the students. And then the student is going home and not able to express themselves to the parents, because the parents, parents are sometimes busy, and then they are at a very young suffering from bullying, which they don't deserve. So yeah, this was one instance. And then once I was in Abu Dhabi, there was this girl who was troubling me so much. So she literally caught me by the collar and put me up and, and just because she was like the, like the bully, you know, and these few instances, like really scarred me. There was this girl in my school in, you know, my current, like the Sharjah school And she, she used to always make fun of me, say bad words and everybody used to laugh like so, so we used to sit in the backseat of the bus and all of them used to laugh. And there was just this one girl who used to support me and she's to stand up for me and the only thing I couldn't stand up for myself is because I didn't know what to say back to her like I didn't know how to how to you know reply to her witty comments or the joke she made on me. And this kind of like really, really took a toll on me mentally, because again, this is not right here you're everybody's making fun of you and like maybe that girl is making fun of you and everybody's laughing about it. So you just don't feel like that's a safe space and you're a kid and school should be a safe space right the bus you come and travel back to your home to school should feel like a safe space. So the thing I would encourage the new generation or teachers to do is the teachers should actually, they should come up with a module or they should come up with at least one or two classes in a semester that suggests about peer pressure, what happens about bullying and saying what is right and what is wrong and like corrective measures that if you bully, then there will be a punishment, there will be something that will happen. So people who are bullying also, they won't do that. They realize, okay, there is a punishment to my actions and I won't bully this girl. And then there should be like, the teacher should know what is going on in the class and suggest the person who's got bullied to go to the counselor to tell the girl or the boy, deal with the problems she's facing, because it really can affect your grades. it can affect how you do at home and just generally. And I feel like over time I've become more powerful version of myself is because I have now learned to speak up for myself. Now, if somebody tries to bully me or like, you know, stomp their foot on me, I know where to take a stand for myself. I know to push myself out of that situation. So that's given me, you know, a powerful stand. If I don't speak up for myself, then who will? You know, people will always trash talk you talk, and they will always trash talk about you make you feel low, but you need to just either you have to, you know, close your ears and not hear to them. Or you need to know when there's a limit and they have crossed that limit that boundary is crossed and then you need to talk back and say this is not right. So yeah, this is my advice to the youngsters is be the voice. speak up for yourself, tell your teachers what's happening, tell your parents what's happening, let them take action towards the people who are bullying you. 100%, I really stand behind this mission that you have. Everything that you're talking about is absolutely great. If someone is listening and they're like, I want to help, I want to do my part in order to support this, what can they do? What do you recommend? whether with you or on their own, what are some steps? Because some people, they want to be part of the change and they want to be part, maybe they should create their own projects that raise awareness or help with this. What's your opinion, since you're someone involved in this mission? So personally, like the personal story, I said that there was a girl who was bullying me in the bus in my school. And then there was this one girl, she had no relation. And like, she doesn't, you know, she doesn't have any, she's not in the same class as me. She has no relation to the other girl, but still she stood up for me. Even though she didn't need to be a part of that, she could simply just be some like a spectator and see what's happening and laugh about it. But she chose to be different from the others and stand up for me. When I was, when I felt I was voiceless, she was my voice and she stood up against that bully. So I feel like people out there know sometimes you can actually, you can sense a situation which is going wrong, you know, and sometimes when that person can't speak up, you be their voice. You know, sometimes in the workplace, sometimes you are, you feel like you are being exploited or something wrong is happening and then you cannot speak up and somebody else stands up for you. It feels good. And I feel like more than if more people talk about this and you know, there is workshops, you know, in university, in schools and offices, because this happens everywhere. If you see, if you think only bullies happens in school, it's not true. It happens even online, like there's cyber bullying. So, you know, you need to stand up for yourself or if you're not able to sometimes stand up for others. If not, if you can't do that, then you ask somebody else in authority for help, say that I've seen this and happened? This is not fair. You are in authority. Can you do something about it? And even like, I think companies have these anonymous, anonymous complaints. So you can either do that so that, you know, the problem in hand can be fixed. And then the bully, the person who is doing the bully is punished for his actions. I feel, yeah, these are a few ways that you can, If it's online, you either just block the person or you have to, you know, I think you learn to become thick skinned because when you're online, you can't control what the audience has to say. And sometimes things can really hurt you. You know, people think they have, you know, they have the authority to comment anything and everything under the roof, which is not fair because yes, you have an opinion. I get it. But sometimes you're very rude to, you know, people online, even influencers, even celebrities, you see the comment section and there's a bunch of hate. So this is very normal. You know, you either, you know, you just close your ears and like ignore those things or you got to you got to block it. And I don't think you have the time and effort to reply to each and every comment who's negative. So I think you become you become a tougher soldier and you are able to, you know, like move out the negativity. So that's my, that's my take and my suggestion to people. Thank you so much, Larisa. Honestly, it was my privilege and my honor to share your story, your voice, to share your mission as well. And your real life experience of how many things like bullying could either make most people become bitter and mess with women's mental health or it needs to be stopped, but very few people like you, they use it to become better and a voice that is stronger for the good. And I thank you for that. Thank you so much Aziz, it is a pleasure being here and thank you for taking me through this process and I'm able to share my experiences. It just feels a lot lighter. And yeah, I'm very, very happy to be a part of this. and hopefully we can have a repel effect and a lot of other people hear about this and actually are aware and they be the change they want to see. So yeah, thank you so much Aziz. You are welcome.